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My Christmas Card to You

When I was a child, one of my very favorite Christmas albums was A Partridge Family Christmas Card. My mom bought it for me when I was five and I just loved it to death. Even now, I can remember lying on the floor of my room and listening to that LP over and over. I always imagined that the Partridge kids were singing their jazzy carols to me and my family.

Every year at Christmas I load up the iPod with my copy of this album and listen to it when I’m out and about Christmas shopping, or just commuting to and from work. Mindy looks at me like I’m crazy whenever these songs come on our car stereo, and in a small way I don’t really blame her. By today’s standards, the tracks are somewhat cheesy and overly sentimental. She grins and bears the dulcet tones of David Cassidy crooning “Frosty the Snowman” because she knows how much it means to me.

When we’re kids, we never know what kinds of memories are going to stick with us throughout our lives. For me, A Partridge Family Christmas Card is an album that instantly takes me back to the home, and Christmases of my youth. I don’t think there could ever be a better present than one that helps keep you young at heart, and for that, I am grateful. So taking a cue from the Partridge clan, here is my Christmas wish to you:

“To you and all your family, your neighbors and your friends, may all your days be happy with a joy that never ends. May peace and love surround you at Christmas time and all the whole year through.”

I wish you and all of yours a joyous and peaceful holiday season. Merry Christmas!

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Welcome to gedblog

It’s my pleasure to welcome you to the newly designed gedblog. After my friend and co-workers, Craig Hockenberry and Anthony Piraino launched their own blogs, each with a custom and rather nice look and feel, I thought it was finally time to break free of the default WordPress themes and do the place up right.

Although the look and feel of the site echos some of the colors of the Simpla theme by Phy Lu over at WordPress, the layout, secondary elements and overall feel are all me. This new design would not have been possible however, without the generous help of my friend Anthony who slaved away for weeks to turn my raw Photoshop templates into CSS reality. I owe ya big time my friend!

Likewise thanks go out to Craig as well who has been instrumental in getting the new blog up and running smoothly. Even though I’ll still be tinkering in the days and weeks ahead, I couldn’t have gotten the new site in place without Craig’s help, so once again, the Foreman sends his thanks.

If you’ve come here from my old WordPress blog, please update your bookmarks accordingly. The old site won’t be updated further, so this is now, as Frank Costanza says, “The place to be!”. I hope you enjoy the new site, be sure to tell all your friends, family and complete strangers to come and visit. Onward ho!

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Mr. ‘Unbeatable’ All But Beat

With the Iowa caucuses only a few weeks away, comes two separate reports that Rudy Giuliani, the favorite child of certain conservative Greensboro blogs, is all but done. Giuliani who was the clear GOP front runner just months ago, is now tied with Mitt Romney at 20 percent polling. It doesn’t get any better for Rudy’s invincible sidekick, Fred Thompson, who’s campaign peaked before he announced his entry into the race.

What’s obvious in all of this is the more the public gets of Mr. 9/11, the less they like. I’m sure this comes as a shock to certain people who thought the Dems should have just transferred the Presidency directly to Rudy months ago. I for one am glad this early campaign season has cast the light of truth on someone who has stood on the backs of the brave souls lost on 9/11 to further his pathetic political career. Stick a fork in Frudy, they’re done.

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Bill O’Reilly, Holiday Hypocrite

Bill O’Reilly never ceases to be a source of constant amazement and pity for me. He calls himself an independent but continues to push the talking points of the Bush White House every chance he gets. He calls reporters like Helen Thomas, who have devoted their lives to reporting the facts of all administrations “anti-American”. And let’s not forget the little problem with his adulterous relationship with Andrea Mackris that he swept under the rug for millions of dollars.

It’s the holiday season again and Bill-O is back plugging his fictitious “War on Christmas” agenda that he’s been making up for the past few years. He even had the audacity to recently declare “victory” against the so-called “secular-progressives”. As if you can declare victory in a war that you yourself created out of whole cloth.

But now, even Bill-O has reached a new low. Often times, people can stomach someone with opposing views because they stick to their principals. President Bush is a great example of this phenomena. Although he tends to do things that are not in the best interest of this country, many conservatives back him because he doesn’t waver. He’s their rock as it were. So you can imagine why I literally laughed out loud when Bill O’Reilly exempted the national book selling chain, Barnes & Nobel, from his made-up war on Christmas. Despite Barnes & Nobel being one of the “worst offenders” of using the term “holiday” instead of “Christmas” in their marketing material, this is what O’Reilly told Carrie Gordon Earll of Focus on the Family on a recent broadcast:

“And I think a lot of people feel the same way, which is why we reversed the trend, but I’m not going to come down hard on Barnes & Noble. I think, you know, Dick Sporting Goods, you know, they may want to rethink this.”     

Why would Bill give pinheads like Barnes & Nobel a free pass on this issue? Because they sell a ton of his books! How can he be expected to back a boycott of the store, when Barnes & Nobel helps line Bill’s pockets? I mean, ‘comon he’s gotta help recoup the cost of that Mackris settlement somehow, right?Today I gladly add “hypocrite” to the long list of Bill’s character flaws. Happy Holidays Bill!

UPDATE: Now you can own the O’Reilly vs. Mackris lawsuit in the form of classical music! Has hard as it may be to believe, composer Igor Keller has spent 9 months creating a modern opera based on the actual text of the lawsuit. It’s a stunning and poignant piece of work. Head on over and check out some clips, and if you like it, buy it. I can think of nothing that would make Bill happier.

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Goodwill Towards Men, GOP Style

This little ditty put out by The National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) sure is a hoot. For one thing, the performers can’t sing to save their lives, and for another they waste entire stanzas on issues next to no one has even heard of. I mean, if you’re going to resort to hijacking a beloved holiday favorite to promote bitter partisan agenda at Christmas, at least make the effort count. But “Two liberal Udalls”? and “Four bucks a gallon”? Evidently the reference to Udalls only makes sense if you live in New Mexico, and if the GOP is trying to blame high gas prices on liberals, then I’ve got some swamp land in Florida to sell you.

If I was a vindictive person, I’d suggest the left whip up their own version of The Twelve Days of Christmas containing such conservative gifts as “GOP health care cuts for kids”, “Waterboards” and “No-bid contracts”, but I’m above that sort of thing. Just to prove how much I’m watching out for you, I’ve provided the “12 liberal gifts” here, so you don’t even have suffer through the entire nauseating video. Consider it my Christmas gift to you.

The GOP’s 12 Liberal Gifts:

• 12 Senators failing (Does that include Craig, Foley, Delay & Lott?)
• Eleven percent approval (takes two to Tango, dorks!)
• Ten paychecks burning (I’d burn it too working for minimum wage)
• Ninety thousand freezing (clever! the only good one on the list)
• No more secret ballots (as opposed to secret prisons?)
• 700 Billion in new spending (including Bush’s little war)
• Six troop funding cuts (before or after the GOP’s Walter Reed?)
• Hillary’s Woodstock Museum (cause she’s the Devil!)
• Four bucks a gallon (Halliburton anyone?)
• Al Franken ranting (way to piss off the next Senator from MN)
• Two Liberal Udalls (um…. HUH?)
• and a tax hike for every family! (Let’s just charge the war, yeah!)

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Dr. Jones, I Presume

I admit that I was excited for the premiere of Transformers the Movie when it aired earlier this year. The part of me that grew up playing with those cool toys from Japan was really looking forward to hearing Peter Cullen’s voice on the big screen, and for the most part the movie didn’t disappoint. But even Optimus Prime can’t hold a candle to Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones. Plot details, behind the scene stills and now the official movie poster for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have been released.

I’ve waited a long time to see Indy back up on the big screen, and I dare say that the fourth (and probably final) installment of this franchise will be the blockbuster of 2008. Although all three Indy movies are near and dear to my heart, I think I enjoyed Temple of Doom the most. I loved the dark nature of the film, Short Round and the departure from Judeo-Christian mythos which Indy 4 seems to also dabble in. Now, with principal photography over and the wizards at ILM working their magic, we won’t have long to wait until we see the man in our favorite fedora reappear on the silver screen once again. All this and a new score from John Williams to boot. How much better could it get? Here’s hoping Indy’s new adventure is one for the ages. Stay tuned!

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CompUSA Goes Buh-bye!

My friend Rick Yaeger just tweeted some astonishing news about the national computer chain CompUSA. Apparently, after the holiday buying season is over, all 103 of the stores will be closing. For good. From Yahoo:

“Consumer electronics retailer CompUSA said Friday it will close its store operations after the holidays following sale of the company to Gordon Brothers Group LLC, a restructuring firm. Financial terms weren’t disclosed.

CompUSA operates 103 stores, which plan to run store-closing sales during the holidays.

Privately held CompUSA, controlled by Mexican financier Carlos Slim Helu’s Grupo Carso SA, said discussions were under way to sell certain stores in key markets. Stores that can’t be sold will be closed.”

All I have to say about this is that thank GOODNESS Apple recently announced plans to open an Apple retail store here next spring/summer. Between January and the opening of the new Apple store however, there will be a huge hole for local merchants to fill. Best Buy will probably pick up a great deal of the slack, but the business potential for the new Apple store in Greensboro just got a whole lot brighter. As a side note, Twitter & Twitterrific win points once again for the first point of contact for me with breaking news items.

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Boyhood Crush Confessions

We all go through it. That time in our young lives when suddenly members of the opposite sex aren’t so “icky”, and are actually kinda neat. We develop crushes on those we see around us, and like so many boys my age, many of my first crushes came from television. Inspired by a series of tweets between friends, I give you the confessions of my first infatuations. I’m willing to bet that if you were a boy growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, then at least one of these leading ladies made your heart go pitter-patter too.

Being a geek, I grew up watching lots of sci-fi stuff, and as such, you may notice some running themes. There always seemed to be lots of cute girls who were getting lost in space or saving the universe. Needless to say I was doomed from the get-go. I hope you enjoy this tiny peek inside my psyche and don’t forget to visit the other bloggers who had the courage to take the crush plunge. A list of their favorites follows. Enjoy!

• • •

Kathy Coleman

as Holly Marshall

Those pigtails! That plaid shirt! Who could resist this darling tomboy who fell with her family through a dimensional warp and wound up “In the laaaaand of the lost, lost, lost!”? Kathy Coleman as Holly Marshall was the very first girl I think I fell in love with. She was always getting into trouble with those scary Sleestack but still somehow managed to cook dinner for her lame brother Will and pseudo-scientist father Rick. Holly was just the kind of girl I wished lived next door… if she wasn’t stuck in a parallel dimension. A few years back I bought the season 1 DVD of Land of the Lost and when I grabbed the screen caps for this post, the back of the box even proclaimed Kathy Coleman to be “many a young boy’s first crush”. I guess I was in good, and numerous company.

• • •

Angela Cartwright

as Penny Robinson

Forget Judy, the older, blonder sister that everybody else went ga-ga over. Penny Robinson, played by Angela Cartwright for three seasons on Lost in Space, was the thinking boy’s girl Friday. Penny had it all, an annoying genius brother, a cool pet space-monkey named Debbie and a tendency to wear clothes made out of tinfoil. Unlike Holly Marshall though, Penny seemed to be firmly stuck in the awkward role of “middle child”. Not as young and adventurous as Will, and not as mature and good looking as Judy, Penny often got overlooked in Lost’s story lines. I always looked forward to the rare episodes involving Penny and her inevitable “damsel in distress” moments that were usually caused by Dr. Smith. You may remember Angela Cartwright from her memorable role as Brigitta von Trapp in The Sound of Music, but she’ll always be Penny Robinson to me.

• • •

Erin Gray

as Col. Wilma Deering

Holy cow! If ever there was a TV character that jump started boys into puberty, it was Colonel Wilma Deering, played by Erin Gray from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. I was just 11 when this show started airing on NBC, but by the time it was cancelled three seasons later, I swear I was 18. Wilma’s infamous satin costumes were an obvious ploy to lure male viewers, and judging from my inability to remember much other than Erin Gray and Twiki, I’d say it worked. You have to give credit to Gray for playing the role with such strength and grace, despite the shiny blue and purple fan service the producers served up week to week. Amazingly enough, Gray’s appeal was even strong enough to lure legions of viewers to the comedic train wreck that was Silver Spoons. She was also in the final running for the role of Captain Janeway on Star Trek Voyager, which had another satin clad beauty you may remember.

• • •

Yvonne Craig

as Barbara Gordon / Batgirl

Brought in to raise sinking ratings, the character of Batgirl, played with enthusiastic crime fighting vigor by Yvonne Craig, stole my heart from the get go. I’m not sure if it was the flowing red hair under that super cool bat cowl, or the secret Batcycle she had stored in her one bedroom apartment, but Barbara Gordon drove me Batcrazy. Craig’s portrayal of the hero gave girls a new, strong role model and gave boys, like myself, heartaches for years to come. Batgirl always seemed to be getting into trouble too, which was just fine with me. I remember watching the episode where Batman and Robin get tied up into a Siamese human knot with Batgirl and thinking “What a great way to die!” Holy “involuntary muscular contractions” Batman!

• • •

Carrie Fisher

as Princess Leia Organa

Don’t try and deny it, you probably had a crush on Princess Leia too. Who didn’t for God’s sake? How could we help it anyway? The character of Leia Organa came bursting off the screen in 1977’s mega-hit Star Wars and young boy’s lives would never be the same. Ask most guys what comes to mind when they think of Princess Leia and they’ll probably say “Bikini Leia!” but Carrie Fisher had me swooning long before ROTJ. You gotta love a woman who orders the likes of Han Solo around and exclaims “Would someone please get this walking carpet out of my way?”. She even somehow managed to project authority while having two cinnamon buns strapped to her noggin. About the only thing wrong with Leia was her tendency to go for scoundrels instead of the squeaky clean farmer type boys. You could say that I fell squarely into the latter category, and so our “love” was doomed from the start. Then again, that’s probably a good thing since I would have turned out to be her brother. Yuck!!

Check out these blogger’s childhood crushes:

Living In the now
Kaylow
Cocoia Blog
nergalicious
Momisodes
Russian Mafia Babe

Don’t forget to Digg It!

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Lying or Incompetent? Take Your Pick.

News today that the government possessed an intelligence estimate stating Iran suspended nuclear weapon research back in 2003. Despite this, for the past several months the Bush administration has been drum beating about the dangers of Iran and tossing around terms like “World War III”. Today, President Bush had to face the music regarding the NIE and told reporters he “wasn’t briefed” about the information. For all intents and purposes, the leader of the free world said “My dog ate my homework.”

I don’t particularly like Joe Biden. He’s too much of an attention hound for my taste, but his perspective on this matter is none-the-less dead on:

“Are you telling me a president that’s briefed every single morning, who’s fixated on Iran, is not told back in August that the tentative conclusion of 16 intelligence agencies in the U.S. government said they had abandoned their effort for a nuclear weapon in ’03?” Biden asked in a conference call with reporters.”

If George W. Bush “wasn’t briefed” about the current state of Iran’s efforts or lack thereof to obtain nuclear weapons, who was? Isn’t it the President’s job to know which countries are really a threat and which are just paying lip service? Isn’t he the Decider in Chief?

Bush is lying. Again. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

UPDATE: Joe Scarborough agrees with me. The conclusion is really inescapable.

UPDATE II: Well what do you know? CNN now reports that Bush was informed in August that Iran had indeed suspended their nuclear program. So according to the White House’s own press release, Bush was lying. At the very least, he wasn’t being truthful when he said he “wasn’t briefed”. I am speechless.

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Is Thurrott Laughing Yet?

A full six months after the hugely successful launch of Nintendo’s innovative Wii game console, PC and Windows “analysts” Paul Thurrott published a predictable piece about how Microsoft’s XBOX 360 was the console to beat. Despite Thurrott’s own “concerns about the 360’s reliability” he still felt that consumers would choose the XBOX over both the PS3 and especially the Nintendo Wii. He remarkably advised that except for parents with very young children, all others should “skip out on this console”, and called the Nintendo Wii “a joke”.

It’s now seven months later and the Wii buying season is upon us for the second time. The funny thing is, people are still lining up to get their hands on a Nintendo Wii. This weekend, I went to Best Buy here in Greensboro to finish up my Christmas shopping and arrived a bit before they opened at 10am. What I found was a line of about 50 people waiting outside the store. What were they waiting for? Had they braved the chilly morning air since 7am to snap up an XBOX 360 and a copy of Halo 3? Not in the least. The majority of these people were waiting to earn a chance to take home one of 18 Wii’s the store manager later told me had come in for the week. As I walked past the line I was reminded of Thurrott’s column and knew I couldn’t resist the urge to say “I told you so.”

In the span of less than a year, Wii sales have far outpaced those of the XBOX 360. I challenge you to walk into any electronics or toy store today and walk out with a Wii. People still can’t easily get a hold of the console, even though Nintendo ramped up production to 1.8 million units a month. If the Wii is a joke, then it’s one Nintendo’s laughing all the way to the bank. Depsite Microsoft’s success with Halo 3, Nintendo is making money hand over fist with each Wii sold. Not so for Microsoft, or especially SONY’s PS3, where margins are miniscule.

The Wii has once again secured Nintendo’s place in the halls of gaming history and proven that flashy graphics and all the cash in the world don’t make up for innovation, solid game play and word of mouth. Best of all though, it has shown that like many things he writes about, Paul Thurrott doesn’t have the first clue. I’m looking forward to playing Super Mario Galaxy over my holiday break and I hope all those people waiting in front of Best Buy this morning eventually get to play too. If you’re still on a quest for a Wii, remember to keep an eye out for one for Thurrott. After he takes his fifth or sixth XBOX back for repairs, maybe he’ll start to give Nintendo the respect they so rightfully deserve.

PS – I’m already bookmarking this gem that says Super Mario Galaxy sales figures won’t live up to expectations. With this kind of crack analysis from TheStreet.com, you know it’s got to be reliable.

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Confess Your Crushes

Did David Cassidy get you twitter-pated? Was Phoebe Cates your first boyhood love? Did you write Mrs. Corey Haim over and over in your spiral bound notebook? If so, here’s your guilt-free chance to tell it to the world! That’s right, it’s Childhood Crush Confession 101 where Internet bloggers of all generations can give a shout out to all those people you thought you were in love with as a kid. The rules are simple. Select at least five of your favorite celebrities that you went ga-ga over when you were growing up, and post them this coming Thursday, December 6th on your blog. Tell us why they lit that special fire deep inside your soul and provide pictures to the crushes in question if you can. Send me a permalink to your post (or your blog in the interim) and I’ll provide a running list here of all the bloggers that are participating. Feel free to cross-link to your fellow confessors if the mood should strike you. Thanks to Twitter, we already have David Miller and Dave Caolo joining in, so don’t just stand there! Dig out those notes you passed around in class, and dust off those old VHS tapes of Family Ties and get writing people!

List of Participating Blogs:

gedblog
Living In the now
• Kaylow
Cocoia Blog
nergalicious
Momisodes
Russian Mafia Babe

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Cry Me A River

I gotta say, I just read the funniest thing on some Greensboro, right-wing blogs. Evidently CNN’s broadcast of the Republican debate was a total farce, some might even say a “setup”, and now CNN should be boycotted. It was so funny, I almost did a spit-take. You know the kind when you’re drinking something and you hear or see something so funny that you literally spit your drink out with that “ppppfffffttt!” sound? Yeah, that.

I never get tired of hearing cries from the right about how the MSM (that’s the main stream media for you less informed out there) is liberally biased. According to those in the know, every major media outlet is slanted left these days. This CNN/YouTube thing is just the latest in a long line of hippy drenched, pot-smoking, birkenstock wearing propaganda all designed to make even more of us hate George W. Bush than the 73% of us that do now.

So ignore the over 250 newspapers published daily by right-wing media mogul Rupert Murdoch, the highest rated news network on the planet, Fox News, the most listened to neo-cons on talk radio, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Neil Boortz and just remember that CNN can’t ask legitimate questions about Giuliani, an adulterer that spent tax payer’s money to have his love trysts paid for, all the while overlooking the hole in the ground that used to be the World Trade Center. Cause that would be biased.

P.S. – CNN does it to the left too. So as Taylor says “Deal with it!”

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A Brief Video Tour of CandyBar 3

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video must be worth a googolplex, right? Yesterday Panic & The Iconfactory released CandyBar 3 for Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard and it has been greeted with open arms by Mac users and icon enthusiasts alike. There’s a great deal of new stuff packed into this release, not the least of which is the blending of CandyBar 2 and Pixadex 2 into a single, unified whole. I thought an easy way to show some of these cool new features was to make a quick guided tour. Video artifacts and nervous jabber aside, I think you’ll find it helpful.

To get the complete skinny and download a free trial version, point your favorite web browser to the CandyBar Home page over at Panic.com. Then surf on over to the Iconfactory and download tons of great, free icon sets and their accompanying Leopard dock styles. Have fun and thanks for watching!

UPDATE: The guys over at MacMost have put together their own screencast of CandyBar 3 and it’s pretty nice. They show how you can manually drop in dock images instead of using just iContainers, which is something I didn’t cover in my overview. Check it out.

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An Illustrated Guide to Triad Subs

Regular visitors to my blog know that I occasionally dabble in submarine sandwich reviews. I’ve not reviewed a new sub place in a while, so this should serve as a stopgap until the next write-up. In all of my reviews, I use a “Yummie Scale” to rate the overall taste, appearance and value of the sub. At the bottom of this scale is Subway which rates a 1. At the opposite end of the extreme is Dibella’s Old Fashion Subs based in New York and Ohio which rates a 9. I grew addicted to Dibella’s when I went to school at R.I.T. and have never found anything that comes even close to them anywhere else. My friend Talos recently went up north for Thanksgiving and was kind enough to bring back Dibella’s subs for all of us at the Iconfactory, which gave me a chance to do this detailed guide explaining just what makes Dibella’s so good.

With my Dibella’s Godfather sub in hand (thanks to Talos), I made the rounds to some of the sub shops I frequent around Greensboro. The three that I chose were Giacomo’s Italian Market on New Garden Road, Subway (does it matter where?) and Jimmy John’s at the Quaker Village Shopping Plaza. I ordered the same basic Italian sub at each location to try and level the playing field as much as possible. The first tell-tale sign of a good sub is the cross section. Click the thumbnail image here to get a detailed look at the four subs by cross section as well as how they stack up by price.

Everyone from students to working folk appreciate the value of a buck. How that buck stretches when it comes to subs varies from place to place. This photo shows the dramatic difference of just what six bucks will get you around the Triad and how that compares to Dibella’s. If anyone knows a place in Greensboro or Winston that has 14″ subs for $7.50, please let me know.

The key to any good submarine sandwich is the bread. In my opinion, as your humble sub reviewer, sub rolls should be crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. Some places like Subway have what amounts to pathetic excuses for bread and it’s important that you know the difference. The sub places around the Triad seem to all use similar bread recipes and it’s starting to tick me off. If you own a deli, for the love of the sub, look here and study well. Our stomachs will thank you later.

So there you have it. The next time I get a chance to write up a Triad Sub Review, you can refer back to this handy comparison chart to get a better sense of all those things I’ll be talking about. Of course, you may not even enjoy submarine sandwiches, in which case you probably didn’t even read this far in the first place. What do I look like a mind reader?

Australians Wake Up

From Think Progress:

“Conservative Australian Prime Minister John Howard, who has been “one of President Bush’s staunchest allies,” suffered “a humiliating defeat” in national elections Saturday when the oppositional Labor Party wrested majority control of parliament away from Howard’s coalition by a 53% to 46.7% margin. Labor Party head Kevin Rudd, who is likely to replace Howard as prime minister, “has promised to immediately sign the Kyoto Protocol on global warming and withdraw Australia’s troops from Iraq.”

Looks like the nation Bush and company have been clinging to as an excuse for a number of failed policies is about to abandon him. It’s about frickin’ time. Well done Australia, well done.

Giving Thanks

As families across this nation sit down with each other and give thanks for all they have, it seemed like a good time to put together a little list of some of the things I’ll be giving a nod to the big guy upstairs for. Maybe this will catch on. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I’m thankful for…

• my loving wife, wonderful home and my crazy, adorable animals.

• the most kick-ass parents a guy could ever have.

• the return of Futurama on DVD.

• the small amount of rain we’ve gotten in the Triad lately.

• my health.

• the people who invented TiVo.

• all the wonderful people I hear from every day on Twitter.

• the 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

• the talented, creative people I work with.

and

• the brave men and women fighting abroad this holiday season.

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Ten Reasons Why Spidey 3 Sucked

After having forced my wife to watch Spiderman 3 tonight, I was painfully reminded of why I didn’t really like this flick in the first place. Evidently, over the last 6 months my brain must have taken a vacation. I remember standing in Best Buy when the DVD hit the shelves and saying to myself “It wasn’t that bad, was it?” As it turns out, yeah it was.

I figured it might be a good idea for other geeks not to force their wifes to watch it either, so I’ve gone and put together a list of just some of the things Sam Raimi must have been telling himself as he made this disastrous third installment. It’s the only possible explanation. Oh yeah, this list contains spoilers, as if that matters.

• Spider sense is great for avoiding goblin gliders in the first movie, but not in the third. It evidently also doesn’t help to warn you that meteorites have struck nearby or that alien symbiotes are about to crawl all over you.

• When you are a man made of sand, it’s helpful that you can find a large truck with the words “Sand” on the side to hide in. Must be all that Manhattan beach erosion we keep hearing about.

• Police chiefs apparently keep detailed records of every single car jacking that happens in the New York City metro area. They also tend to hold that information secret until a seemingly crucial moment in the life of no-named student/freelance photographers.

• If you are planning on proposing to the woman you love, make sure the beautiful lab partner you kissed as Spiderman earlier in the day, just happens to dine at the restaurant you are proposing in.

• If you’re a struggling actress down on her luck, who’s being blackmailed into breaking up with the love of her life, what ever you do, don’t whisper to him “It’s a trap, Peter!”. Oh, and remember not to tell him why you broke his heart later on.

• Goblin grenades are powerful enough to completely vaporize Venom and turn large chunks of the Sandman’s arm to glass, but not deadly enough to kill Harry at point blank range.

• Forget a career playing virtuoso jazz piano! Who needs that when you can scrape and scrounge getting paid $50 a pop for pictures of Spiderman?

• When weening yourself of a violent alien symbiote, be sure to find the one church in all of New York City with the guy who absolutely hates your guts waiting in the wings.

• Butlers who clean the wounds of dead people tend to reveal crucial plot information months after they first discover it, and just at the proper moment.

• Lastly, whenever you introduce a story line about a poor, sick daughter, what ever you do, don’t follow it up or offer closure. Just remember that resolution is highly overrated.

Of course, this has all been said before by people brighter than me. I just wonder if I can get my money back from Best Buy…

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Let’s Talk Turkey

When I think of my brief, yet humble career as an amateur chef, I divide my life into two parts: BB and AB. That is to say my life ‘Before Brining’ and my life ‘After Brining’. What is brining? To put it quite simply, brining it is a cheap, and relatively easy technique to help ensure that your Thanksgiving turkey turns out as delicious and juicy as it possibly can. It is essentially a marinade that delivers both flavor to the meat and helps lock in juices when the turkey is exposed to the high temperatures of cooking. I first learned the tip from Alton Brown and his awesome cooking show, Good Eats and have been using it every year since without fail. No matter if you plan to roast, fry or spin your turkey on a giant rotisserie, brining your bird is the first step on the road to culinary fullfillment.

There are many ways to accomplish the brining, but I’ve stuck with Alton’s method and recipe. You’ve heard of the expression “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Yeah, well that applies here so I’m going to give you the low down on just how I go about working the turkey magic.

The easiest container I’ve found to brine in is one of those big 5 gallon paint buckets from Home Depot. Go pick up a brand new one, and then give it a good hand washing before you get ready to brine. For a 14-16 pound bird you’ll want to brine for a good 12-24 hours, so plan ahead. Rinse the turkey completely inside and out and remove any packets of giblets and the neck that may be hiding in the body cavity. I almost forgot to to this one year believe it or not, so it’s always best to double check.

Turkey Brine Recipie:

1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon iced water

Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stockpot, and bring it to a boil. Stir to dissolve all the solids and then remove from the heat. Cool the mixture to room temp. and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. The chilling part is important since you don’t want your turkey to go into a hot or even warm solution (can you say bacteria people?). Early on the day of cooking, (or better on the night before) combine the brine and ice water in your clean 5-gallon bucket. Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area like a basement or a garage. Turn the turkey over once half way through.

When it’s time to cook, remove the bird from the brine and rinse thoroughly. You may see that the color of the skin and meat has darkened slightly, that is a good thing. It just means that the brine did its work and the flavorings have penetrated into the turkey. A few minutes before roasting, heat your oven to 500 degrees. I use Alton’s method of filling the turkey’s cavity with fresh aromatics instead of bread stuffing. Stuffing dries out the meat and prolongs cooking time and I’ve found it’s best to avoid it.

Turkey Aromatics:

1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves sage

Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes. Place your bird on roasting rack inside a wide, low pan and pat dry with paper towels. Add steeped aromatics to the cavity along with rosemary and sage. Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil.

Roast on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F. for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer of foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing the temperature to 350 degrees F. Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 min. before carving.

Trust me when I say that you will never have un-brined turkey ever again. I’ve heard people say that frying your turkey is the only way to lock in juices and ensure your bird doesn’t get dried out. To those people I say “Ha!” you don’t know jack. A brined and roasted bird is just as flavorful and juicy as any fried turkey could ever hope to be. Give it a try, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

My Favorite Republican

You couldn’t pay me enough to live in California. Between the fires, mudslides, earthquakes and ridiculously over-priced cost of living, I think calling the Golden State home would be more hassle than it’s worth. Sure they have the Sequoia National Forest, the Mythbusters and even Disneyland, but you gotta figure that a place that shelters the likes of Britney Spears and lures the Dodgers from Brooklyn can’t all be peaches and cream. Then again, I’m quite jealous of California’s Hollywood actor turned politician for the ages, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Besides the eternal coolness of having The Terminator as your governor, Schwarzenegger has proven he is an effective leader. Arnold has taken small, yet measured steps to turn California 180 degrees and set the tone on a number of issues. His initiatives have helped spearhead a new green economy, worked hard to bring California back from the brink of bankruptcy, provided affordable healthcare for adults and children alike and improved the state’s aging infrastructure. The part I like best about Schwarzenegger however is that he’s not afraid to do what’s best for his state, even though it may not be what his party expects.

CNN recently named him number 8 on a list of 50 people who matter most in business, and it’s easy to see why. Arnold has embraced green initiatives and found that doing what’s best for the environment and our children’s future, doesn’t necessarily mean destroying our economy. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Schwarzenegger recently launched the “Million Solar Roofs” initiative which provides tax breaks and rebates for the installation of 100,000 solar roofs per year in CA, every year for 10 consecutive years. The program will ultimately reduce energy costs for Californians while providing high-tech industry solutions to the masses. While the rest of the nation sits and debates about the merits of alternative energy, in typical action hero style, Arnold jumps in and gets the job done.

His background in body building and fitness has given him a strong commitment to universal health care that may very well become the future model for the country. While some problems persist, Arnold’s initiatives never-the-less have people re-thinking a system that fattens the insurance industry by denying patients coverage. His efforts with the Special Olympics and the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports have made him a favorite of educators and health officials everywhere. In short, he is everything I’d like to see in my governor, and probably more.

When all is said and done, Arnold has proved he’s an agile politician. Although his core values sometimes gets him in trouble with his deeply blue state, he also recognizes that compromise wins the day. He is able to effectively separate politics from policy and do what’s best for the residents of CA. Local and federal leaders could learn a thing or two from this humble Austrian import. Despite the skiing accidents and bad one-liners, Arnold Schwarzenegger has helped make California a national policy leader instead of a follower. I wish the same could be said of North Carolina.

How bad can earthquakes be anyway?

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You Know, for Spite!

This is the true story of how MarbleofDoom.com was born. Those of you with weak constitutions should look away now because it’s not going to be pretty. As any artist knows, the creative process can often be sparked by a number of things; a bit of music, a friend’s comment, a favorite photograph or even just the desire to fill an empty niche. However, in the case of the MOD, no such nobel pursuits came into play. Nope, what we have here is a good ‘ol fashion case of spite. Yes, spite.

Before I get into all that however, I should back up just a little bit. If you don’t know what MarbleofDoom.com is, go check it out. It’s basically a fun, website where Mac users can enter how much time they’ve collectively wasted waiting for the spinning beach ball of death cursor. Users enter time and the site reports on the total number of hours wasted. What’s the point? I’m glad you asked.

The spinning beach ball has been something that Mac users have been dealing with in one form or another since the platform was launched. Back in the early days, Mac users knew it as the dreaded wrist watch cursor that would spin until a process had finished loading. When Mac OS X came along, Apple decided to spruce it up. I guess they figured if you had to wait, why not wait in style? With the advent of the Adobe CS suite of apps, Mac users saw the frequency and duration of the beach ball increase dramatically. I know what you’re thinking. MOD was created to spite Adobe, right? Nope, not by a long shot cupcake. Now sit back down and let me finish the story.

Back in June, two of my long-time friends, Bob & Jiffy Burke, told me via Twitter that at Jiffy’s office, they referred to the beach ball as the “Marble of Doom”. The name really struck a chord with all of us at the Iconfactory and we started referring to it by its new name all the time. We loved the name so much that in September, I decided to add the lexicon to the official Wikipedia entry for the spinning beach ball of death. This is the part where the spite comes in. I was so proud of contributing to the mythos of the beach ball, that when my addition was removed a little over an hour later by a user named Sdfisher, I could hardly believe it. I mean, it was just another name for the cursor, what harm could there possibly be in adding it? According to Sdfisher:

“marble of doom” has 10 google hits, only one of which is Mac related. Removed.

Ask any one of my friends and they’ll tell you I’m not a vindictive person. I don’t fly into fits of anger or wish ill-will on anyone. But when I read that Wikipedia edit from Sdfisher, something inside me snapped. I immediately formed a geeky plan to leverage Mac users everywhere and get “Marble of Doom” back up on Wikipedia. After all, I owed Jiffy no less. Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.

Months earlier, I had decided to actually record marble spin time using the excellent time tracking utility, On the Job. Every time I’d see the Marble of Doom, I’d immediately add the time to the fake MOD project. After one month of tracking the cursor, I was shocked to find that I was kept waiting a grand total of almost 1 hour. This experience gave me the brainchild for what would eventually become MarbleofDoom.com. All of the guys at work got excited about the project and I even enlisted the help of the talented Wolfgang Ante, our Frenzic and xScope partner, along with our own Craig Hockenberry, to help code the back end. The MOD website became a fun side project that we worked on in the down time between client work. We launched it on 10/19/07 and its popularity soared as Mac users everywhere could finally vent their frustrations with their glassy overlord.

“Marble of Doom” now has over 40,000 Google hits and has given more than a few people a good laugh while they wait for their Macs to return from la-la land. The best part however, was that on 10/30/07, a user named Rory O’Kane re-entered “marble of doom” as one of the names for the spinning beach ball cursor on Wikipedia. Take that Sdfisher! I told you this wasn’t going to be pretty, and now you know. God, I love the Internet 🙂