Category: TV

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Where Have All the Heroes Gone?

SPOILERS AHEAD: This post contains potential spoilers for seasons 1 & 2 of the NBC drama, Heroes. If you’ve not watched yet but are planning to, then you’ll want to skip this post. You’ve been warned.

Unlike many of the fans that are addicted to NBC’s hit show, Heroes, I wasn’t hooked from the start. In fact, I never even tuned in until my wife convinced me to give it a try with the release of the season 1 DVD. She had been telling me how good it was for months and that I should really watch it. The guys at work loved it too and I often had to drown out their weekly discussions of the show with loud bouts of Tears for Fears pumping through my headphones while they would theorize about the various characters, plot points and next week’s episode. From the start, I had thought of Heroes as a cheap, TV knock-off of Marvel’s X-Men and not really worth my time. It took a couple of episodes before I saw how well crafted Heroes was, but once I did, there was no stopping. Burning through season 1 on DVD was thoroughly enjoyable & utterly addicting.

Each episode flowed freely into the next and I found myself caught up in multiple story arcs and solid character development. I really enjoyed watching Hiro Nakamura’s evolution from geeky Star Trek nerd to full fledged warrior, all the while keeping his sense of humor. Series favorite Claire, was surprisingly well handled too. I had assumed her character would be a rip from one of my all time favorites, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but again I was wrong. The story of Claire and her compelling father played by Jack Coleman, brought both drama and realism to this fantastical universe. The show even found a catch phrase that gave fans a type of “secret hand-shake” that only others of their kind would understand – “Save the cheerleader, save the world.”

Life was good. Until it immediately turned to crap.

I’ve been patiently waiting for season two of Heroes to “start”. So far, no luck. Unlike season 1, this year, the various characters don’t seem to be developing. There are vague notions of a new threat, and more foreshadowing of the future thanks to Isaac’s lost paintings, but in general, the arc is moving at a snail’s pace. By this time in season 1 viewers were solidly hooked and couldn’t wait for each new episode. This time around, I barely remember what happened last week. If it wasn’t for the “previously on Heroes” leader at the start each episode, I think I’d be lost. What’s going on? Where’s the magic?

I think one problem is expectations. So many fans got caught up in the amazing writing, acting and story arc development last year, that nothing the writers could do this time around could ever hope to come close. They’ve attempted to placate fans with new characters, abilities and a few geeky stars thrown in for good measure, all to no avail. Veronica Mars’ Kristen Bell and even Nichelle Nichols from Star Trek: TOS, can’t keep the sub-par writing of season 2 from showing. The new heroes we’ve been introduced to are relatively exciting (Monica the copycat girl and Parkman’s dad, aka Nightmare Man), but too many of the original favorites have taken steps backwards.

Peter loses his memory and has to rediscover his various abilities. Sylar lives, has lost all of his powers and is stranded somewhere in Mexico. Niki Sanders checks into the company “hospital” and suddenly she’s whole again. Claire has to go back into hiding and struggles to conceal her abilities from her high school peers. All of these developments are frustrating, regressive and unsatisfying. These “mini arcs” need to end immediately. Many series fans (including me) felt the season 1 finale was disappointing because Kring didn’t let the heroes be heroes. Instead of a climatic battle to defeat Sylar and solve the riddle of the exploding man utilizing all of the cast and their abilities, Hiro simply appears and stabs Sylar without so much as a whimper. Tim Kring spent the entire season introducing us to these incredible characters, building to a crisis the players would have to band together to stop, and it was over before it began. Kring can’t afford to make the same mistakes again, but he is.

Word comes this week that, due in part to the Hollywood writers strike, and dramatically reduced ratings, the planned mid-season spin-off, Heroes: Origins, has been shelved. The strike might be the official reason why we won’t see these six episodes (heck we might not even see the last half of season 2), but I think the drop in ratings is the more worrisome factor. Unless Heroes gets back to its roots and puts these characters in situations worthy of their namesake fast, we won’t have Claire, Noah, Sylar, and Parkman to kick around much longer. Will Heroes become just another great show killed before its time? As Hiro Nakamura might say, only time will tell.

UPDATE: Tonight’s episode “Out of Time” took some steps in the right direction. Several of the plot threads theorized by people commenting below came true (I won’t say which ones incase you don’t want to know) and things seem to be picking up. Perhaps November sweeps is just the kick in the pants the viewers like myself need to start to feel good about Heroes again. I just hope the writers strike doesn’t take the wind out of the series’ sails before it manages to get going.

UPDATE II: It seems that Heroes creator, Tim Kring, is aware of the problems with this season and issued a few statements about the fan’s disappointment. The good news is it seems he is committed to righting the wrongs and getting things back on track. Hat tip to Talos for this.

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Dear NBC

With the news yesterday that NBC wanted to experiment with raising prices on iTunes, and asked for a cut of Apple’s massive iPod revenue, I thought I would voice my thoughts over at NBC’s newly beta Hulu site. As Corey pointed out to me this morning, NBC’s “slice” of the iPod revenue is the network getting their shows on the portable player in the first place. They are not entitled to profits from the sales of the hardware itself. Despite what Bill and Ballmer have done. Here’s my comment over at Hulu’s blog:

“So $15 Million dollars wasn’t enough for you guys from iTunes last year huh? What was the amount you were making for your shows online before iTunes came along? Oh yeah, right. Zero. Your vision is shortsighted, greedy and anti-customer.

If I can’t view your shows on my iPod or iPhone, can only see the last 5 episodes of something, can’t watch them outside the US, have to watch ads and need flash, then I’d say this grand experiment is a massive failure. Too bad too because I like your content, but I’ll never buy another NBC/U DVD. Ever.”

I meant that last bit. Mindy and I bought the first season of Heroes on DVD because I had missed it first time around. Although it’s tempting to buy season 2 when it eventually comes out, until NBC comes back to iTunes, I won’t be forking over any more money to Zucker and company. If you feel the same way, I suggest you head on over to Hulu and let your thoughts be known. Judging from the comments already posted, we’re not alone.

UPDATE: Upon further reflection, anyone wanna take a guess as to why the final season of NBC/Universal’s ‘Battlestar Galactica’ is being delayed until April instead of its planned January airing? Could it be that NBC/U wants Galactica to be their flagship show when Hulu leaves beta? Could be rabbit. Could be.

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God or Mini Golf?

CBS’s Kid Nation is fast becoming my new favorite TV show. This surprising and delightful reality series challenges a group of 40 kids to carve out a functioning society in the New Mexico desert. The latest episode dealt with the contentious subject of religion. Like many of the issues the children deal with on Kid Nation, the subject of “going to service” was imposed upon them by the show’s producers in the form of the town journal. Each week a new chapter is read by the ruling council and they must decide if they will take the journal’s entry to heart and effect change in Bonanza City, or ignore the lessons it attempts to teach.

After reading the entry about Sunday service, the council decides to create a “catch-all” gathering for the entire town in which everyone’s religion will be represented. But when the council rings the meeting bell, no one comes running. It seems on the outset, these kids don’t love God. They are both lawless AND Godless! Oh ye of little faith. Later that evening, Morgan decides to get an impromptu prayer group together, and low and behold, many of the kids attend. As the children huddle around a burning oil barrel, prayers from various religions are shared. Some of the kids are even moved to tears by the words of their friends. Instead of religion being enforced, God is shared spontaneously, and that’s what I love most about Kid Nation – it’s never what you expect.

Given a choice between an 18 hole mini golf course, or a collection of holy books, the kids choose the books. When tensions run high in a town meeting, it’s the voice of 9 year old Alex that makes the most sense. Sophia calmly states in an interview that religion is one of the leading reasons people kill each other around the world. And some kids disturbingly emulate their parents by “drowning their sorrows” with shots of root beer in the town Saloon. No matter what pops up from week to week on this contrived, sometimes awkward TV series, through it all, the kids shine through. They constantly rise above the fake settings and the Survivor-like challenges to single-handedly put the “reality” back in reality TV, and I’m loving every minute of it.

When the hero of last week’s sheep herding challenge, Cody, decided to leave, his heartfelt goodbye really got me. Who among us hasn’t had to say goodbye to a close friend or lend moral support when a buddy is down? Kid Nation lets us re-connect with our childhood while giving us glimpses into how today’s parents are raising their kids. Michael, Zach and Anjay’s parents are doing something right because they all deserve a gold star.

The preview for next week’s episode looks great too, as the kids will have to hold an election for a new ruling council. Politics and kids usually don’t mix well, but something tells me this will be different. It’s a shame that Kid Nation got such a bad rap in the weeks leading up to its premiere. While some aspects of the show are less than perfect, on the whole, it enlightens and satisfies. Just the right blend of humor – “I got a bogey!” and insight – “Yuck stuff.” to make Kid Nation one great hour of television. Check it out.

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Steve Carrell is ‘Get Smart’

Growing up, one of my favorite shows had to be Get Smart starring Don Adams. The silly exploits of the hapless spy from CONTROL tickled my funny bone like nothing else. Turns out that Get Smart is the latest television property to be turned into a big screen feature, this time starring the hilarious star of The Office, Steve Carrell. The trailer looks funny enough, but I suspect they are saving the best bits for the actual release. I can only imagine Carrell’s riotous take on my favorite Smart gag, the Cones of Silence. I refuse to get my hopes up too high however, thanks to film disasters like The Dukes of Hazzard, Bewitched and Starsky & Hutch. I pray that Carrell will pull if off, if for nothing else but to save us from all of the reviews that will no doubt start with “Missed it by THAT much!” if he fails. I guess we’ll find out this summer.

Hat tip to Imagication for this post.

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In Defense of Kid Nation

Let me just say that I do not have children of my own. If I did, my view of the new reality based television show from CBS about 40 tykes in the New Mexico desert might be different, but I doubt it. Having watched the premiere episode, it seems obvious these brave kids have taken on an adult-sized challenge with courage and passed with flying colors. Kid Nation just might be poised to become the next big hit, as well as do something that TV seldom does – enlighten and inspire its audience. Unfortunately, the production was criticized as soon as the premise leaked. Critics alluded to violation of child labor laws, blamed greedy parents and warned of potentially life threatening situations even before a single minute had aired. Newsweek’s Joshua Alston has said that Kid Nation is an example of “how low popular culture can go” and made the inevitable comparison to William Golding’s 1954 classic novel, Lord of the Flies. A group of children, left to fend for themselves in the wilderness with no adult supervision. What will happen? Will chaos ensue? Will the children turn on each other and start dropping boulders on kids they want to “vote out”? As it turns out, chaos yes… boulders on kids, not so much.

Although we see the occasional bouts of anarchy (hey, these are children), what shines through is how well the children adapt. Led to an abandoned town in New Mexico, these 40 kids learned how to function as a society for 40 days without the benefit of parents, teachers or even guardians. The adult host and the camera crew would appear to be the only supervision given, but the show’s producers also provided for instant, around the clock medical attention and counseling for any child that required it. Reports do indicate that several minor injuries occurred on set including a sprained ankle, a burn due to cooking with hot oil, and one child ingested bleach accidentally. Ask any parent and I’m sure they’ll tell you that a single injury is one too many, but in exchange each child got a guaranteed $5K, chances to win $20K more, plus a once in a life-time opportunity to learn responsibility, make new friends and challenge themselves.

Kid Nation succeeds because it has just enough structure to keep the children focused running the town and working towards those coveted golden stars. Prizes and challenges aside, best part of the show is the kids themselves. The parents of these children should be proud, and with good reason. Sophia, age 14 helped feed the entire posse even though she’s never cooked before. Greg, age 15 helped another child who had a muscle spasm onto the back of a wagon and pulled him into town. Michael, age 14 stood up during a shouting match and lent a calm opinion to the town’s ruling council. And Taylor, age 10, resisted the urge to return to her family, and instead helped lead her yellow team to victory over older and stronger kids to become the town cooks. All of these children are remarkable and I’m delighted that their parents have allowed us to get a sneak peak at their pride and joys.

I’m sure in the weeks ahead, it won’t all be teamwork and high-fives in Bonanza City. Problems will arise, just as they do in real life, and these resourceful sons and daughters will have to figure out how to deal with them. They have already shown the type of resilience that many adults can only dream of. If I did have children of my own, I would let them participate and gain as much from the experience as they possibly could. Today’s kids are coddled, fawned over and more often than not, spoiled. Kid Nation might be a game show, but at the end of the day, these young ones will take home much more than just prize money. They will have the satisfaction of knowing they were a part of something life changing. They will look at themselves and other children in a different light, and perhaps all of us watching at home will too. I suspect TV viewers will see the good parts of the show, forget the burn and the bleach, and reward CBS with a winner. Nothing would be a more fitting tribute to these kids’ brave nation.

Digg It!

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Colicchio, Please Pack Your Knives and Go

It may seem to the casual reader that I have a bone to pick with cooking shows, but that’s just because they deserve it so much. I happen to think Bravo’s Top Chef is one of the best reality TV shows going, but even I’m having a hard time swallowing what head judge, Tom Colicchio, has been serving lately. This season, Colicchio’s behavior has gone from endearing to simply annoying. He’s been freaking the contestants out with his tendency to hover in the Top Chef kitchen while they are cooking. His criticisms of their food will go from “that was bad” one moment to “that was the single worst thing I’ve ever eaten” the next. He tends to think that no challenge is unfair, even ones that have little, if anything to do with a restaurant chef’s day to day job. And call me crazy, but any classically trained chef that doesn’t know how to properly hold a knife and fork, has no business telling others how to do their job.

There are large parts of Colicchio, and his participation on the show, that I enjoy. He apparently knows his stuff when it comes to cooking and is not afraid to be blunt with the contestants. If things are going south, he’ll let you know, and generally he’s pretty fair when it comes to who is performing and who is falling behind. His presence “grounds” the show from its inherent affected nature and lends credibility to its production. But at the same time, his level of patience has decreased while his need to critique has skyrocketed. The slightest flaw in the contestant’s cooking now has a tendency to set him off. On last week’s episode CJ’s brocoolini turned out to be the worst thing he’d ever eaten on the show. Never mind the fact that none of the chefs had ever used an oven on a commercial airliner before, or even prepared meals that had certain height requirements (yes, you read that right, height requirements). Colicchio seems to be becoming more and more jaded with each season, and I fear his likeability is suffering. It’s easy to sit in judgement on other people’s creations, and since I’ve never actually seen him cook, I don’t know if he’s just talking out his ass, or he has the truffles to back it up.

I’d like to suggest that Bravo inject a bit of humility into Top Chef by announcing a “Contestant’s Revenge” episode. I propose that for one episode, Colicchio, Padma, Gail and any other guest judges who have the courage, compete in their own mini challenge. They’ll get an impossibly small budget to work with, a miniscule amount of time in which to prepare and compete, and then be forced to serve their concoctions to the Top Chef contestants and a few snotty food critics thrown in for good measure. They say you don’t really know a chef until you’ve sauteed a mile in his pan. How about it Tom, can you take it as well as dish it out? I think we’d all like to see. In the meantime, I know a great place you can go and hone your table manners. I hear they have an opening.

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

“Everyone always says they’re in favor of saving Hitler’s brain. But as soon as you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooohh! Suddenly you’ve gone too far!”

Just another friendly reminder that all-new episodes of Futurama are coming to Comedy Central in November. I don’t regret telling you this, but I do both rue and lament it.

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Biting the Hand that Feeds You

Some stunning developments in the world of net delivered entertainment today. First came a salvo from NBC that said it was opting out of their contract to sell its television shows via the iTunes store starting this December. NBC reportedly wanted more control over content bundles as well a “flexible” pricing structure. No doubt bolstered by Universal’s recent decision to go month by month in their contract with the iTunes store, NBC attempted to gain the upper hand with Apple and publicly announce that Jobs & company weren’t playing fair. Apple’s insistence on simplicity and a single price meant the network would have to remove its programs from the largest online media store in the world.

It didn’t take long for Apple to fire back. The computer company issued a press release that in effect said NBC was insisting on raising prices by a whopping 250%, making episodes that were once $1.99, now $4.99. So rather than force consumers to pay almost $5 for anything from a 1/2 hour episode of The Office, to a full hour long drama like Heroes, Apple decided to not wait until December, but pull the “plug” now. I love this bit:

“Apple’s agreement with NBC ends in December. Since NBC would withdraw their shows in the middle of the television season, Apple has decided to not offer NBC TV shows for the upcoming television season beginning in September.”

So in other words, NBC’s not going to get shit. Apple won’t post any episodes from the upcoming season of such fan favorites as Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, The Office and 30 Rock. Never mind the fact that the iTunes single-handedly prevented NBC from canceling The Office in the first place, or that you can TiVo these shows for free now, or even that higher-quality versions of all of these shows are available hours (not days) after they are aired via bit torrent. No, NBC thinks it knows what’s best for their customers and it has demanded that Apple start charging more than double for something that just frankly, isn’t that good.

This move will do nothing to help NBC and everything to give Apple even more bargaining power with other content providers in the days ahead. I can’t wait to see NBC try to sell an episode of The Office for $4.99 on NBC.com or even via Amazon Unboxed. I’d sooner save my pennies and buy the DVDs for a fraction of the cost than pay over $100 for a low quality, DRM locked season of Heroes. Who wouldn’t?

Jeremy Horwitz of iLounge has written an open letter to NBC concerning their arrogant strategy. He hits the nail directly on the head, and I sincerely hope the suits at NBC read it and take it to heart. We’ll get our shows via DVR or torrent for free, piracy will increase, and NBC will lose millions in revenue because the peacock didn’t know when to shut up and smile. Sounds like a fair trade to me.

UPDATE: An interesting side note. NBC will be launching its own video website in October named Hulu. What’s Hulu you ask? Although just a fun, rhyming name to us, Hulu actually means “cease” and “desist” in Swahili. Speaks volumes about NBC and their level of competence in this entire affair.

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Spock Don’t Know Jack

Just prior to the launch of the iPhone, I posted a quote from my favorite Vulcan, which seemed to portend the mindset of those who decided to partake in the gadgety goodness. Having owned my piece of the future for one month and ten days, I am here to tell you that when it comes to the iPhone, Spock, thankfully, don’t know jack.

My purchase of the iPhone has lived up to all of the advanced hype and then some. Sure some will say that I’m just a fan boy caught in the expansive reality distortion field radiating from my phone. But those who know me will tell you that despite my love for Apple, if I’m not satisfied with a purchase, I don’t have a problem saying so. Years ago I got the royal screw from my favorite fruit company when I bought the infamous Apple IIvx, which was supplanted just 4 months later by the Centris line of Macs. I’ve never let Apple off the hook for that one, even to this day.

Thankfully, the iPhone is light years away from my IIvx experience in every way imaginable. Here are just some of the ways the iPhone lives up to the hype:

• The User Interface – Once you hold it in your hand, touch the controls, scroll photos, and pinch a website larger or smaller, you’ll wonder why cell phones have never done this before. The user interface is quite possibly the best single thing about the iPhone. It’s elegant, snappy, clear & thoughtful.

• Mobile Safari – Sure it quits sometimes, but it more than makes up for this shortcoming by being the single best answer to the internet on mobile devices. Enlarging text, clarity of page renders and great bookmark management all add up to a real winner.

• YouTube In Your Pants – Being able to search and view YouTube videos at will, any place and any time is freakin’ fantastic. Once the entire catalog is converted to H264, I don’t think I’ll ever watch funny cat movies on my Wii ever again.

• All the Little Things – The use of Helvetica throughout the UI, the gorgeous hi-res screen, how easy it is to make a phone call, visual voice mail, and yes, even the battery life are all great on the iPhone. They all add up to an experience that makes me want to take it with me where ever I go. The same cannot be said of my old Sprint phone.

It can’t all be a love-fest can it? No, sadly there are a few things that are not as good as they could be. They include (in order) AT&T, a missing official SDK, AT&T, finger and ear prints, no games, and did I mention AT&T? It’s not surprising that the weakest part of the iPhone is the part out of Apple’s control, namely the spotty network coverage and poor customer service of AT&T. With the news today of multiple methods to unlock the iPhone from the shackles of you-know-who, I suspect there will be some very happy potential customers who will now take the plunge.

The first question people always ask when they spy me with my iPhone is “How do you like it?”. My answer is always the same – “It’s just fantastic, I love it!” It’s the first time in my life I think I’ve ever spoken ill of Mr. Spock. See what you’ve done to me Steve!

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So Much for That

Word comes today that Fox has cancelled the afore mentioned right-wing “answer” to The Daily Show – The Half Hour News Hour created by 24’s Joel Surnow. The pilot episode of this televised train wreck featured Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter as President and Vice President respectively.

The show was critically panned from the start, unfunny and always contrived. What Surnow and Roger Ailes never seemed to learn is that The Daily Show isn’t successful because it makes fun of Bush and company, but because it mirrors truth. Stewart, Colbert and company went after Clinton and other left leaning figures just as vigorously as they do the GOP today. People in power will always be legitimate targets of satire and no amount of canned laughter or pandering to demographics can make something that is forced and awkward suddenly seem hilarious.

Here endeth the lesson.

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“24″ Goes Green

Here is a bit of news from the Washington Post that is sure to bristle the spines of climate change critics everywhere. As part of Fox’s company wide Cool Change directive, spokesman Chris Anderson says that the entire production of their hit show, 24, is going green. The Post reports that when production starts on season 7 this month, both vehicles and generators will run on a more “planet-friendly” biodiesel blend of fuel which will start at 5% and gradually increase as filming continues. In addition, the show’s electricity bill will be spent toward renewable-energy credits that will bring shares of wind, solar and water power to the power grid of Los Angeles.

As the face of 24, actor and producer, Kiefer Sutherland stars in a short video on Fox’s website that talks about the production’s initiative as well as tips that people at home can take to heart to help fight climate change. More web installments are planned once the show begins airing in January, and the concept of climate change is even said to be being worked into this season’s plot lines (don’t laugh, anything is better than last season). Sutherland has high hopes that by making 24’s production carbon neutral, they will lead by example and demonstrate that the problem of global warming is solvable.

Perhaps the most positive thing to come out of this development isn’t that 24 will be using less fossil fuels or even that it will spread the word about the genuine danger of climate change. No, the real news here is that a show with such deep conservative roots, on a partisan network like Fox, is taking a position on an issue that is in direct opposition to main stream right-thinking. The show’s co-creator and executive producer, Joel Surnow is an unabashed “right-wing nutjob“. Recently he helped to create Fox’s answer to The Daily Show, the 1/2 Hour News Hour and has taken flack for 24’s casual treatment of torture and abuse of civil liberties. Indeed, 24 has even been used by some GOP candidates as a talking point to illustrate how America should deal with terrorists.

So when a staunch conservative like Surnow can set aside his partisan beliefs and see climate change for what it is – a global issue that threatens all of us, I feel hope. We must look beyond party loyalties, face scientific facts and get to work. The Cool Change initiative at Fox, and 24’s efforts specifically, speak to a mind set that is spreading. Unfortunately, as is often the case on 24, the clock is ticking. Now is the time when we, not Jack Bauer, swing into action and make a difference. Let’s just hope we’re in time.

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“Welcome BACK to the world of tomorrow!”

For those of you who are not die-hard Futurama fans, this may come as news to you, and for the rest of us, it’s just another chance to dwell on one of our favorite animated shows of all time. Ever since Fox cancelled Futurama back in 2003, I’ve held out hope that fans would petition to bring the show back. We learned a little over a year ago that Matt Groening and David X. Cohen had somehow managed to wrangle all of the writers, animators and voice talent for the show back together for a limited stint of 4 direct to DVD movies. Come this November, Comedy Central will split the movies into half hour episodes and air them far away from those numb-nuts at Fox.

This past week at ComicCon 2007, fans got a sneak peek at a trailer for the new 5th season, and even though the quality is low, it’s got my sci-fi juices flowing. A hat tip to Cabel for turning me onto it, I really hope a high-quality version makes the rounds soon. You can head on over to YouTube to check it out along with a new promotional spot that Comedy Central is airing starring a 3D Bender.

Thanks to the Futurama forums I frequent, yours truly has been planning a 5th volume of freeware icons to mark the upcoming release, along with some really fun desktop pictures. I’ve received a great deal of positive feedback on my Futurama sets over the years, and so it’s been a pleasure to revisit New New York again. The upcoming season is sure to provide both original characters and fan favorites to iconize, so rest assured I’m on the case. Between Futurama and the Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair, November should be a great month for movie watching. Stay tuned!

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Smoked Donkey

Excuse me while I take a moment to rant about a pet peeve of mine… chefs who smoke. What’s with all the people in the culinary field who smoke? It is me or is every single person on a reality cooking show addicted to nicotine, turning their teeth yellow and deadening their palates? I’m not kidding here, can someone please answer this question for me because it’s all I see.

Last season’s Hell’s Kitchen was bad enough with Keith, Virginia, Garrett, Sarah and others chain smoking after every dinner service, but this season it seems like everyone smokes, everyone! And it isn’t just Hell’s Kitchen, but Top Chef and Next Food Network Star as well. I know that aspiring to be a world class chef is stressful, but these are smart people who should know better. How can anyone be serious about becoming a five-star chef when their palate is coated in carbon and their taste-buds are all but dead? How can they expect to cook a Michelin Star meal when they need to cut out in the middle of service for a “drag”; their fingers stained brown from puffing?

Needless to say I find the entire affair of smoking and eating, quite disgusting. Smokers choke the air of diners all around them, simply so they can “relax”. It’s selfish, unsanitary and rude. Unfortunately, living in Greensboro, NC makes this problem almost impossible to avoid since we’re in the tobacco belt. When my wife and I go out for sushi, we always try to arrive as early as possible to get in and out before the smokers arrive. I know that in Japan, cigarette smoke is part of the sushi experience, but that doesn’t make it right. Call me crazy, but the last thing I want to taste with my fresh salmon sashimi is Camel Joe’s butt. So when it comes to those who prepare food for a living, I would think a desire to properly taste your creations would override addiction. Evidently not.

So does anyone know why so many chefs smoke? Is one of the pre-requisite classes in culinary school, “Nicotine and You”? Do kitchen supply companies have secret kick back programs with the tobacco industry? Perhaps the scores of U.K. chefs kicking the habit can help shed some light on the subject. Inquiring minds (and stomachs) want to know.

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Requiem for Farscape

Straight from the “Hell yes I’m still bitter, what about it?” department comes news that the Sci-Fi Channel plans to resurrect its long forgotten, genius child, Farscape. Before Scapers get their galactic panties in a wad, it should be noted that the series is only being revived for the web, not as a full blown TV series. In their never-ending quest to missmanage valuable TV properties, Sci-Fi has elected to give Farscape a hollow relaunch of 10 “webisodes”.

Some die-hard fans will be glad to get a hold of anything new that has Crichton, Aeryn and D’Argo attached to it, but not this Scaper. I remember all to well what happened when they canceled Farscape. Bonnie Hammer flipped what many considered to be, the best show on television, a royal Hynerian bird to pay for another season of Stargate SG-1 and Tremors the Series. SG-1 fans will think that was just fine, but Farscape always did kick SG-1’s ass up and down the universe, no two ways about it.

It’s not hard to figure out that the big wigs saw 2008’s upcoming loss of Stargate and Battlestar Galactica and decided to raid their chest of popular properties in a half-hearted attempt to draw old fans. Well, I’m not falling for it. Farscape used to be my favorite television show. It used to be a lot of people’s favorite television show, and the idiots at Sci-Fi abandoned and cancelled it without warning. The attempt at story closure that became the Peacekeeper Wars had to be made. The fans demanded it and so Farscape’s creators fought the suits and produced it. Make no mistake however, the Sci-Fi Channel’s announcement about Farscape is nothing more than a transparent attempt to generate buzz and save face from yet another collective ass whooping from their fans.

On a personal note, I am growing quite tired of the freak show that is the Sci-Fi Channel. Management masquerades as an honest to goodness television network, while at the same time stomping on the fans that helped make them a success. If there was another place I could watch new episodes of Doctor Who (legally, I might add), I would gladly do so. I have no desire to watch Crichton & Aeryn’s “webisode” adventures so long as Sci-Fi dangles it like a carrot in front of our collective noses. Then again, I have been known to cave from time to time. Damn it…

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“Sponsored in part by…”

Growing up in the 70’s in New England meant many things. TV38’s Creature Double Feature weekends, crisp autumn days jumping in huge piles of leaves, building forts in snow banks 25 feet high, and lots of great TV out of Boston. When I was in elementary school, I watched the offerings of WGBH Boston and WPIX New York (PIX! PIX!) almost every day and I still remember them clearly. Naturally there were the classics we all know and love like Sesame Street and The Electric Company. But there were a few others that really stuck in my head. I’ve managed to track them down so I could share them with you and see if they awaken long forgotten memories, as they did for me. Thanks YouTube!

The Magic Garden

My favorite show growing up had to be The Magic Garden, hosted by Carole Demas and Paula Janis. The show was a fun romp for kids that lasted 12 years on WPIX and gave us memorable songs to sing (the “Hello Song“), riddles to pose and costumes to wear. Its hosts were genuine and easy going and I look back on the show with very fond memories. Watching the closing credits makes me sad even now because each time they sang goodbye, I imagined they were singing it to me. Carole and Paula have continued their friendship and working relationship and have starred in touring productions of The Magic Garden to this day. Amazing.

Inside Out

“The following is from a national, instructional television series.” went the narration that started each episode of the critically acclaimed series Inside Out. The series, produced in 1972 and ’73 was different from most in that it dealt with complex social issues like bullies or feeling left out of a group. I remember watching Inside Out many times in school, all on 16mm film! One story told the tale of two boys who played a game of “war” that somehow ended badly. Each episode ended in a cliffhanger, so the teacher could discuss how you would have handled the situation in their place. Amazing the things that stay with us.

All About You

Hosted by Louise McNamara, All About You was an instructional show aimed at 6-8 year olds that taught kids about their bodies and how they worked. The show broached such subjects as where babies came from, what happens to food once you eat it (poo!) and why you keep growing out of your clothes. The opening and closing music is burned in my brain to this day, as is the surreal, wall-less set that was used. I don’t think All About You ever came right out and explained how sex worked, but I do remember it skirted the subject several times. Somehow, Miss McNamara made learning this awkward stuff fun and natural.

Zoom!

“Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a barrel of fun!” Kind of like a low-budget Mickey Mouse Club, Zoom! was a kids show filled with energy and fun games that you could learn to play at home with your friends. I remember Zoom! because it came on right before The Electric Company and I used to watch it to get out of helping my mom set the table. Check out the clip of Zoom! over at YouTube and be sure to watch the “ubbi-dubbi” speak that starts at mark 2:30. Can you speak ubbi-dubbi? I bused tobi be bubble to, bubbi I forgobbi ingubi mybi olbi agbi.

The Great Space Coaster

Of all the shows growing up, The Great Space Coaster was probably the lightest. Coaster didn’t try to teach you your ABC’s, and it wasn’t an after school special, it just wanted to make you laugh. We all remember the show’s classic tag line “No gnews is good gnews, with Gary Gnu!” and the wierd space elephant thing with the guy in the suit had to hold his trunk up with a puppet-erring rod. The Great Space Coaster paved the way for other great puppet shows like Fraggle Rock and The Muppet Show, all while giving us one heck of a memorable theme song. Ah, childhood!

So how about it? Remember any of these gems of our youth? What TV shows have stayed with you through to adulthood? Feel free to leave your favorites in the comments thread, I’d love to share in your memories too, so let’s have them people!

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Giada, How I Hate Thee…

Watching this season of The Next Food Network Star has made one thing perfectly clear for me. I absolutely cannot stand Food Network’s Giada De Laurentiis. I’m not someone to use the word “hate” lightly, but after giving it a ton of thought, I stand by my choice of words. Why do I hate her? Let me count the ways…

• Skanky, low-cut silk blouses over hot stoves

• Enough lip gloss to lube a grandfather clock

• Phony, sophomoric, teethy grins

• Insistence on using pretentious, native pronunciation for all Italian foods – “MOE-ZAH-RRRRE-LLAH!”

• 7 layers of foundation under hot, studio lights

• Thinks having an Italian name and studying in Italy automatically makes her an amazing Italian cook for the ages

• Judging other’s flaws while ignoring her own

• Thinks she belongs on the same network as Alton Brown & Paula Deen

• Thinks Food Network’s audience can spot a phony a mile away, but seems pretty okay with being one herself

Thank goodness I’m not the only one who feels this way. If the Food Network was smart, they’d start putting Giada on the back burner. She’s worn out her short, perky welcome.

UPDATE: Of all the posts I’ve written, this one has now officially become the most popular. It sure says something about Giada, but I don’t think it’s something she wants to hear. Evidently a WHOLE lot of people have problems with her, along with just about every other cook on the Food Network including Rachel Ray, Paula Deen and of course, Emeril. Check out the comments on this thread. They are brutal and they go on for some 17 pages. Oooouch!!

Aaron’s Personal Hell

SPOILERS AHEAD: If you have not watched the season premiere of Hell’s Kitchen on Fox yet, then you might not want to read this post. There is still time though, turn away now. Last warning, okay we’re moving on…

Hell’s Kitchen is off to a bang with tonight’s premiere episode and one thing seems pretty clear already – Aaron has about as much staying power as a head of wilted lettuce. When I watched the commercials for this season of Fox’s reality cook-off and saw this man openly weeping in Gordon’s kitchen, I thought at least it was because of something stupid he had done. BUT NO! Aaron turned on the water works even before a single starter was served up to the hungry hordes of L.A.’s most pretentious diners. If he can’t keep it together before the shitake hits the pan, what hope does he have when things go really pear shaped? Something tells me that this seemingly too kind-hearted cook won’t last beyond episode 2.

And while we’re at it, I’m mighty happy with the decision to kick Tiffany. Anyone who refuses to put a short order cook in charge of frying up some damn eggs doesn’t deserve to helm their own luxury restaurant. Just because someone works at a Waffle House doesn’t mean they can’t cook, so I say don’t let the door hit ya on the way out girlfriend! Buh bye!

This season looks like its going to be drama packed, fun and even somewhat lethal! Seems like someone’s going up in flames… literally. As we wait to see who gets the extinguishers thrown at them, I’m glad my earlier analysis of the contestants picked for HK is holding water. This season’s bunch seems as inept, talentless and combative as any we’ve ever seen. Finally, a weekly TV show to sink our teeth into again. The heat is on!!

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The Cult of Ramsay

I’m a proud member of several ‘cults’. I’ve been a member of the ‘Cult of Mac‘ for over a decade and a die-hard Trekker and Red Sox fan since I was ten. Recently I’ve enrolled in a new cult that is sweeping the nation; The Cult of Ramsay. Emeril Lagasse? Yesterday’s table scraps. Rachael Ray? Couldn’t cook her way out of a wet paper sack. These days it’s all about the silver tongued chef from Scotland that took the UK by storm and gives Jamie Oliver nightmares.

When I first caught the commercials for Fox’s reality TV show Hell’s Kitchen (new season starts June 4th) starring Gordon Ramsay, I couldn’t stomach the man (no pun intended). I watched in horror as he screamed at contestants and wondered why anyone would put themselves through such, well, such hell. Then I tuned in to watch a few episodes of season 2 with Mindy and I instantly understood why Gordon was always berating the chefs. They sucked! The people the producers pick to compete on Hell’s Kitchen are classic examples of reality TV contestants. Chosen for their colorful personalities, as well as their primary ability to create drama, five-star chef Ramsay is surrounded by talentless hacks who are there for the sole purpose of cooking up their fifteen minutes of fame. Surprisingly I found myself rooting for Gordon and not the contestants each week. I’d scream at the TV right along with him, “Don’t you know the difference between sugar and SALT?!”

Gordon Ramsay has learned through success as well as failure what makes a great chef. To his credit, and despite his sometimes harsh words, he is a skillful teacher. When Gordon yells at a chef, it’s for a damn good reason. It’s obvious watching him cook and run his kitchen that he is a perfectionist in every sense of the word. From recipes and technique to presentation and showmanship, Gordon insists that everything be perfect for the customer. The students under his wing usually realize this and take the verbal abuse with grains of salt just so they can improve and receive a seldom heard compliment from him. When given, it’s like a small nibble of the finest truffle because they know it was hard fought and well earned.

As intense and addicting as Hell’s Kitchen is, I have to say that I enjoy his other UK series even more. The F-Word is another reality cooking series now in it’s third season in the UK with previous seasons airing on BBC America. The show invites a team of guest chefs on each week to cook for 50 patrons in Gordon’s restaurant. The team that has the most successful services (starters, entrees and desserts) earn accolades from Ramsay and bragging rights for all of Britain. The show is fast paced, snarky and features some amazing recipes that you can find on the F-Word’s website. The beef fillet with a gratin of mushrooms seen here is our favorite.

Another Ramsay TV dinner includes ‘Kitchen Nightmares‘ where Gordon attempts to rescue restaurants on the brink of failure. He does this by spending an intense no-holds-bar week at these establishments and critiques them on everything from their food and decor to service and menu choices. Viewers have watched him turn struggling eateries thousands of pounds in debt, into successful, standing room only restaurants. He doesn’t always succeed, but when he does, it makes for incredible television.

Despite his enormous success, Gordon Ramsay does have his critics. Many think of him as a showman chef that’s all sizzle and no steak. Ramsay does have a flair for the theatrical that can get him into trouble. On a recent UK episode of The F-Word, he trotted a freshly killed deer through his dining room so guests could get a better appreciation for venison. Needless to say PETA wasn’t pleased. He’s also is keenly aware of his sex-symbol status to the women (and men) of England and flaunts it every chance he gets. Every episode of Kitchen Nightmares features a sequence where Gordon talks to the camera while he changes, bare-chested, from his civilian clothes to his chef’s jacket. Every time we watch Nightmares we take bets on when he’ll change. It’s kind of like how Mr. Rogers changed from his business suit to his sweater and sneakers, but with a lot more chest hair.

In the end, I can overlook the swear words and the showmanship because I have a deep appreciation for what Gordon does. In his own flashy way, he brings his love of cooking and the world of fine food to us at home. To Ramsay, the customer is king and everything he says and does serves this guiding philosophy. I used to think he was an arrogant son-of-a-bitch who got his jollies from humiliating inexperienced chefs. After watching and listening to him, I know that he’s really a tough drill sergeant that molds recruits into fine culinary weapons. As they say, “war is hell”, but it also makes for some damn fine TV.

HBO Greenlights “The Pacific”

Without a doubt, one of my favorite all time television events was HBO’s award winning mini-series, Band of Brothers. Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, fresh off the tremendous success of Saving Private Ryan, took all of the production team for that Oscar winning film and successfully transfered it to the small screen as Band. Today comes word from Variety that they will team up for “The Pacific” to tell the tale of WWII once again, this time from point of view of the Asian-theater of battle.

Variety reports that cast members and a director have not yet been named, but I’m willing to bet we’ll see some familiar Band of Brother’s faces crop up in the production. Band of Brothers walked away with a grand total of six Emmy awards and a Golden Globe for its portrayal of Easy Company through Europe in World War II. Hanks and Spielberg are sure to try and capture that lightening in a bottle once again, and I for one am VERY happy. I’ve heard rumblings about this series for over two years now and I simply can’t wait. When Band aired in 2001, Mindy and I would count the days between episodes so we could sit and watch the tale of these brave men and their real-life acts of courage. Variety says that this series will highlight the differences between the European and Asian fronts in WWII and how the fighting was so different. As a guy, I look forward to the battle scenes with anticipation, but I also hope the team recaptures the human element and drama that made Band so profoundly excellent. 2009 can’t come soon enough.

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The Curious Question of Kara Thrace

SPOILERS AHEAD: So if you have not watched up to episode 17 (Maelstrom) of season 3 of Sci-Fi’s Battlestar Galactica, then I urge you to stop reading this post right now. I really mean it, so just stop. Move on, nothing to see here. If you are caught up on Galactica, then by all means, continue on my fellow Colonial.

After episode 17 & 18 aired on Sci-fi, the lot of us over at the Iconfactory were discussing the episode over the proverbial “water cooler” and got into a feverish debate about the apparent death Kara “Starbuck” Thrace, one of the show’s central characters. I hate to brag, but this was the kind of debate that geek legend is made of. The central point of our discussion was “Is she really dead?”. My friend Corey was leaning toward thinking that Ron Moore really did get rid of the character. Why would he think this? Well, if you’ve listened to the podcast commentary from Moore on Maelstrom and The Son Also Rises, he does a very good job of making the case that Katee Sackhoff has in fact, left the show and her character is indeed dead. I don’t buy it for one fracking second.

Moore tells the tale of the writers discussing killing Starbuck off, calling Sackhoff up and letting her know, and even deducting the number of survivors between episodes 17 & 18 by one in the opening credits. Deliberate points laid out by the show’s creator to let the listener know that Starbuck is dead. Moore’s not kidding. Really. She’s really, really dead.

What? Still not convinced? Yeah, me neither. Here’s why:

1) Loose Ends: The writers just spent the better part of the last 6 episodes opening up an entirely new plot line dealing with Kara. She evidently has been having visions of the “Maelstrom” since she was a kid. Since this seems to be the key to finding Earth, its a little wierd that the writers would pick just this moment to just kill her off right before the completion of the arc.

2) The Non-Phantom Raider: Right before Kara’s viper exploded in Maelstrom, there was a quick 1-second shot where Lee saw her supposed “phantom” raider dart into the clouds. She wasn’t imagining it, it really was there and it did shoot her. There is no reason to show this except to give Moore an “out” to bring Starbuck back later on. Either she ejected and was picked up, or she’s…. a Cylon!

3) Savvy Moore: Ron Moore is about as far from a dummy as someone who works in television can get. He knows that the only way to retain the shock value for Starbuck being revealed as one of the “Five” later on is if the audience buys her death now. It therefore makes sense to try and build the foundation of Katee Sackhoff leaving the show in the episode’s podcast. We’re about to have the hiatus between seasons, so what difference does it make if Kara is not in the last 3 episodes? She might not even be in the first few of the new season. If Moore’s done his song and dance properly, then the fan base will believe and the trap is set.

So is Starbuck one of the final five models of Cylons? I’m leaning toward the answer being “yes.” As usual, the season finale will most likely serve up even more questions and keep us guessing all summer long. Moore and company have said publicly that next season everything will change. Nothing would be a bigger change than 5 of the characters we’ve come to know and love, turning out to be Cylons. Personally, I’d rather have Kara be a Cylon than accept her pointless death, and I’m betting that Moore and company feel the same way too.