Category: Food

Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeño Poppers

Summer is great for grilling! There are a few recipes I return to again and again and these bacon-wrapped jalapeño poppers are one of my favorites. They’re easy, delicious and a great starter at dinner time.

If you give them a go please leave a comment on my YouTube video and let me know how they turned out. Enjoy!

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HARDWARE:

• Large bowl, spatula + tongs
• Grilling pan / tray
• Water squirt bottle (for grill flare-ups)

INGREDIENTS:

  • 5 large jalapeño peppers
  • 5 strips of thick bacon (pepper bacon)
  • 1/2 cup cream cheese
  • 1/4 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 cup parmesan Reggiano 
  • 1/4 tsp cumim
  • 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp granulated garlic
  • 1 tsp granulated onion
  • 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
  • salt & pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

Set grill to medium-high heat.

In a large bowl, mix together the cream cheese, sharp cheddar, parmesan, cumin, paprika, garlic, onion and cayenne pepper. Add a few grounds of fresh black pepper to taste and set aside.

Cut the bacon length-wise to create 10 thin strips. These are easier for wrapping and will stay curled around the poppers on the grill.

Using a pairing knife, cut each jalapeño length-wise from tip to stem. Scoop out the ribs and seeds with a spoon. For extra heat you can dice the ribs and add it to the cream cheese mix. If you have sensitive skin, you may wish to wear food gloves for this step. If you don’t, just remember to wash your hands.

Add a heaping portion of the filling to each half of the peppers. Make sure all the peppers are filled evenly before wrapping with the bacon.

Wrap each pepper with a strip of bacon, starting at the stem end in a spiral. Make sure the twist it tight and press the bacon into the filling. Repeat until all the peppers are wrapped.

Place the peppers on your grill pan and grill for about 20-30 minutes being careful to watch for flareups. Keep a squirt bottle handy to extinguish flames and remember to move the poppers around so they cook evenly.

Serve immediately with the dip of your choice and enjoy!

Ged’s Pot Roast

If you are looking for the ultimate comfort food nothing beats good pot roast. I’ve tried many recipes over the years but always came back to my own version of the culinary favorite. Someone recently asked me to blog my recipe over on Twitter and it occurred to me that I’ve actually been winging it for years so it was probably a good time to get it written down.

The prepped veggies for my pot roast recipe - carrots, celery, onions and potatoes

If there’s a secret to this recipe it lies in the two sets of veggies (one diced for flavor and the other sliced for eating) that gives the pot roast its depth of flavor. There’s an extra step or two compared to most recipes but trust me, it’s worth it.

Also, by cubing the meat instead of leaving it whole, you get more surface area which means more browning which means more flavor! It also has the added benefit of cooking quite a bit quicker than most traditional pot roasts.

If you give it a go please drop me a line and let me know how it turned out. I’d love to get your opinion. Enjoy!

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HARDWARE:

Large bowl + tongs
Large dutch oven or high-sided oven-safe pot
Blender

INGREDIENTS:

1 (3-5lbs) Chuck Roast (cut into 2” cubes)
2-4 Tablespoons of Olive Oil
2 whole onions (1 diced, 1 frenched)
3 celery stalks (diced)
6 carrots (3 diced & 3 sliced into bit-sized pieces)
3/4lb of fingerling potatoes (or parsnips peeled & sliced into bite-size chunks)
8 cloves of garlic (finely chopped)
2 cups of red wine
3-4 cups of beef or chicken broth
3 sprigs of fresh thyme
3 sprigs of fresh rosemary
1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 Tablespoons of corn starch
2-3 Tablespoons of smoked (or regular paprika)
3 Tablespoons of of tomato paste
3 Tablespoons of Worcester Sauce
3 Tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
Salt & pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

Set oven to 325º

Slice chuck roast into 2” cubes and season them completely all over with salt, pepper and a sprinkling of paprika and flour. Coat well.

In a high-sided dutch oven or heavy oven-safe pot heat on pot with olive oil on stove top until shimmering. Working in batches, brown cubes of the meat on each side with your tongs until nice and brown. Don’t crowd the pan, turn them as needed getting each side nice and crusty. Remove browned pieces to a bowl. Continue until all meat is browned.

Combined diced carrots, celery and onions in pot and stir with pot meat drippings to loosen. Cook about 3 minutes or until the veggies soften. Add diced garlic and stir another minute or until garlic is aromatic.

Add tomato paste to the pot and mix in with the veggies. Add red wine and deglaze the pan – cook for another 1-2 minutes until wine mixture starts to simmer.

Return meat to pot on top of the veggie mix and add enough chicken or beef broth to barely cover. Reserve 2-4 tablespoons of broth for thickening later on.

Tie the rosemary and thyme sprigs into a bundle with butchers or kitchen string and add to the pot along with Worcester sauce & balsamic vinegar.

Bring to a simmer.

Put the lid on the pot and place in the oven. Cook at 325 for 1.5 hours.

Remove from oven and place meat cubes in a bowl. Discard the bundle of herbs.

If there are pools of fat on the surface of the liquid use a label and spoon off as much as you can or transfer the liquid to a de-fatter and discard the grease.

Transfer the remaining liquid plus cooked, diced veggies to a blender and blend well. Return the mixture to the pot along with the meat once again. Add sliced carrots, fingerling potatoes (or parsnips) and frenched onions to the pot and mix in well.

Return to the oven and cook for another 1 – 1.25 hrs or until meat is fork tender. Remove any grease on the top of the liquid once again with a ladle.

Move the pot to stove top and heat over med-low heat.

Mix the corn starch with the remaining chicken or beef broth (2-4 tablespoons) until throughly combined and then add to the stew. Bring to simmer to thicken.

Add salt, pepper & additional Worchester sauce to taste.

Serve with some crusty bread or with creamy polenta or whatever you want 🙂

YUMMIE!

My New Favorite Thing: Birds Eye Cauliflower Tots

Birdseye's new cauliflower tots are super yummy

I’ve eaten quite a few tater tots in my day. I just love them which is why I’m so excited something new and better has finally come along. Imagine the best tater tot you ever had and then imagine it being a pale imitation of what tater tots are supposed to be, that’s Birds Eye Cauliflower Tots. They take everything you’ve ever loved about traditional tuber tots and raise the bar.

Made from just a few simple ingredients (unlike the 10+ ingredients in Ore-Ida Tater Tots), Birds Eye tots are slightly larger than your normal tot, but that’s not all. When baked they are very crispy on the outside and super creamy on the inside. If you’ve ever eaten a fondant potato from a fine dining restaurant, then you know what I’m talking about.

I was skeptical when Mindy suggested we try them, she’s been on a cauliflower kick for the past few months, but I have to say I’m so glad we did. About the only downside of course, is the price. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not that expensive – a bag of Cauliflower tots will run you just $3 at Target or $4 at your local grocery store but it only contains about 4 servings as compared to ten servings from Ore-Ida. So if you’re buying for a large family you’ll have to buy a few bags to stock up. The extra cost is well worth it however because they are simply delicious. They also have less sodium, less saturated fat and fewer carbs than regular tater tots.

Next time you’re grocery shopping pick up a bag (or two), try them out and let me know on Twitter how you liked them. I’m willing to bet you’ll never want to eat regular tater tots ever again.

Guest Judging Food Network’s ‘Cake Wars’ Was a Sweet Treat

Cake Wars Emoji Panel

Pictured L to R: Myself, Cake Wars regular judges Ron Ben-Israel and Waylynn Lucas with host Jonathan Bennett

In my career as an icon artist I’ve had the privilege of working on tons of great projects, meeting fascinating people and participating in lots of wonderful events. This past March however, I was invited to appear on the Food Network’s reality baking competition, Cake Wars, as a guest judge and quite simply, it was an adventure of a lifetime. The theme of the episode I was to appear on was emoji, something I’ve become intimately familiar with these past few years. Needless to say when we received a request for one of us to fly to L.A. and participate as a judge I nearly fell out of my chair. From start to finish, my experience on Cake Wars was fantastic and so I just want to share some of those experiences with you.

The Journey

I’ve been a fan of reality TV cooking competitions for years with shows like Top Chef, Hell’s Kitchen, The Great British Baking Show and more recently Food Network’s Chopped and Cutthroat Kitchen. Over the years I’ve considered applying to a few of these shows in the hopes of showing off my amateur cooking skills but had never gotten off my butt to do it. So you can imagine how amazing it was to ultimately be sitting at the Cake Wars judging table next to the incredibly talented Ron Ben-Israel and Waylynn Lucas.

From our initial email exchanges to arranging the trip, all of the people from Super Delicious, the company that produces Cake Wars for Food Network, were positively wonderful and made my time on set a joy. My first surprise happened as soon as I stepped out of the car on the Cake Wars lot. Ron Ben-Israel had also just arrived and he immediately came over to greet me outside the main door. He stepped right up, introduced himself and said “You must be Gedeon!” As we entered the building, he proceeded to tell me all about myself, where I went to school, some of the projects I’ve worked on over the years and even how long I’ve been at the Iconfactory. “You see Gedeon, I do my homework!” The sheer fact that Ron warmly greeted me and knew all about me was such a thoughful way to be welcomed to the set that I could hardly believe it.

All throughout the day, Ron helped me to know where to look for the camera, gave me speaking tips and even signed an autograph for me which I now have hanging on my desk at work. He even took time to answer any and all questions I peppered him with like how he makes the incredible buttercream for his award-winning cakes! In exchange I showed him how to receive animated emoji on his iPhone and tried not to gush over sitting right next to him *too* much. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say for the record that Waylynn Lucas and host Jonathan Bennett were also both super nice to me as were the entire crew of over 60 people. It was easy to see they had all done their jobs dozens of times before and knew where they should be, how to speak, what the director was looking for and more from the start.

Judge’s Table

If you’ve ever watched TV and wondered what it must be like to sit behind the judge’s table to critique culinary creations, let me try and set the scene. Cake Wars is broken down into two rounds; a smaller initial round where one of the four contestant teams is eliminated at the end and then a big, show-stopping round with the winner receiving a $10,000 prize. I’m not going to spoil the episode and tell you who won (you’ll have to watch to find out) but I will say that watching the bakers work and tasting their creations was a privilege. Both Ron and Waylynn warned me to be prepared to taste both great and not-so-great cakes and naturally they were right. Some were moist and delicious, some were flavored perfectly and some were so sweet they made my toes curl.

All of the cakes arrived at the judge’s table via production assistants with perfectly cut slices, meticulously arranged on white flatware in front of me. Needless to say I took great care when handling my fork and made sure to take my time, taste everything and made mental notes on each as I went. Thankfully the producers explained my primary concern was to critique the overall design and visual appeal of the cakes, how well they conformed to the emoji theme of the challenges and if they had been executed well or poorly. Since I’m not a food critic I gratefully kept the majority of my comments focused on the designs of the cakes. The contestants seemed to appreciate my feedback through the various rounds.

Behind the Scenes

Between rounds, each of the judges had the opportunity to retreat to their dressing rooms while the contestants baked. The final round happens over the course of 4 hours and so there’s a lot of work on set for the contestants to get their show-stopping cakes completed before time expires. The production assistant explained to me they would come and get all of us for the final 30 minutes of baking but I asked if I could stay in my seat and watch while they worked. She allowed me to remain on set and I’m so glad I did. Not only did I get to see the inner workings of the show and how it’s filmed but I also was able to ask one of the floor directors a bunch of questions that he graciously answered.

One thing I asked was if the producers look forward to “food disasters”, i.e. when cakes fall or major mistakes occur on set. His answer was telling. He explained that of course most producers will say they think these unplanned problems make for great TV, but they also tend to push the production schedule later in the day, sometimes much later and that’s bad. Things have to be re-filmed, stations reset and it just throws a monkey wrench into the works which wastes time, money and makes the entire production crew cranky. Ultimately he explained that Food Network wants the contestants to succeed in their efforts and produce the best cakes they can so in reality, it’s better to have everything go as smoothly as possible in the end.

That’s a Wrap

From the moment I stepped onto the studio lot, just like the emoji I was there to judge, I wore a huge smile across my face. To say I was honored to be a part of Food Network’s Cake Wars emoji episode just doesn’t do it justice. It was quite literally a foodie’s dream come true to be able to travel to L.A. and participate in judging these amazing cakes from talented bakers across the country. One of the teams however was much closer to home than I ever suspected.

I learned just this week that one of the teams I judged is based right here in Greensboro, NC! I went to visit Taylor Kisselstein at Easy Peasy Decadent Desserts and ordered a dozen cupcakes (emoji of course!) for the viewing party I held at my home the night the episode aired. Thanks, Taylor!

When I think back on my experience I will always remember the excitement of being on the set, but I also warmly recall the people, especially Ron Ben-Israel. He is a professional in every sense of the word with an amazing talent for baking positively beautiful cakes. I’ve spoken with him a few times since filming and even now he continues to be just as warm, gracious and helpful as he was that day and has even encouraged me to audition for Chopped! To him, and all the other members of the cast, crew and production team, and to everyone at Food Network, thank you for having me on the show. It was an experience of a lifetime that I will never forget.

The Emoji episode of Cake Wars is available for purchase via iTunes. Enjoy!

Miscellaneous Thoughts & Observations

• Each of the judge’s chairs have a leather pouch hanging from the back of the seat for their cell phone should they wish to keep it handy but not on their person during filming

• The feeling you get when you see your own name on a dressing room door is just as amazeballs as you can imagine

• Ron Ben-Israel used to subscribe to MacAddict Magazine & was a huge Mac gear head back in the day

• Multiple people on set told me the “Minecraft” ep of Cake Wars was… challenging to film

• Each baking team has its own “story producer” who encourages them on set to be energetic, enthusiastic & speak clearly during the course of filming

• If all teams are in the weeds and are behind, the producers have been known to give them extra time to complete their cake creations

• Almost all of the judge’s dialog is unscripted. In contrast, nearly 100% of host Jonathan Bennett’s dialog is written for the camera. The script is edited in real time and constantly finessed and adjusted as events unfold during filming

• Fraternizing with the contestants prior to filming was strictly forbidden. Also, if one of the contestants approached me before filming began I was supposed to let the powers that be know O_o

• Having to eliminate people from possibly winning a $10,000 prize really stinks

• Awarding a $10,000 prize to a talented cake artist is incredibly awesome and more than makes up for the former 🙂

How to Make Spiral Cut Hot Dogs

As recipes go this is about as simple as it gets so it’s not really about the ingredients so much as the technique. Why spiral cut your hot dogs prior to grilling them? When spiral cut, the hot dog ends up having more surface area to cook and this means more of that yummie, caramelized goodness after it comes off the grill. It also is just plain fun and looks cool on the plate. One you go spiral, you never go back.

There’s a New Chick-en Town

Next week, the nation’s largest chicken chain (by sales), Chick-Fil-A, will launch a new grilled chicken recipe that it spent seven years and more than $50 million dollars developing. The new recipe is designed to get customers to crave grilled chicken as much as their signature “Southern fried chicken sandwiches”, a tall order to be sure. Chick-Fil-A’s recipe for more healthy, tasty offerings have helped propel the chain past Yum! Brands (the parent company that owns KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut) in total annual sales. The Atlanta-based Chick-Fil-A took in $5 billion last year to KFC’s $4.22 billion and did it with only 1/3 the number of locations. Enter Super Chix, an unassuming, singular restaurant which opened just this week in Arlington, Texas. Super Chix is (hopefully) Yum! Brands’ answer to the seemingly unstoppable, juicy juggernaut that is Chick-Fil-A.

Although Super Chix is, at least for the moment, a single test location deep in the heart of Texas, Yum! could quickly seed Super Chix resturants across the country should the concept prove successful. And just what is that concept? Although it’s tempting to brand Super Chix as clone of Chick-Fil-A, it actually seems more like a remix of several successful chains. Super Chix founders, three guys named Christophe, Nick and Jeff, say they offer simple food made with “ingredients everyone can pronounce,” made with no MSG, high-fructose corn syrup or phosphates. The chain offers hand-squeezed lemonade, hand-cut Idaho fries ala Five Guys, and three types of pickles for their sandwiches – Sriracha sweet & sour sauce and kosher. For my money though, one of the most notable lines of attack isn’t what they’re offering, so much as when they’re offering it:

With increased pressure from casual fast food chains like Chipotle Mexican Grill, Panera Bread and especially Chick-Fil-A, Yum! knows they need to get crackin’ in order to stem sliding sales. Good, simple food is certainly the best way to turn things around but Super Chix would also give consumers an important choice in the morality department. Chick-Fil-A and its owner Dan Cathy, came under scrutiny in 2010 for his documented support of anti-gay, Christian organizations which sparked several grass-roots boycotts. It’s uncertain if those boycotts hurt Chick-Fil-A or not but the PR backlash was real and probably led to Cathy’s reversal of company policy in 2012. Furthermore, Cathy recently admitted he wants his business to “move past” the anti-gay controversy, leave politics to politicians and focus on expanding the chain’s offerings. Sounds great, but consumers like me have a long memory. If I had a place to patronize that gave me all the delicious chicken goodness of Chick-Fil-A without any of the “holier than thou” attitude, I for one would certainly take it.

For the time being you’ll have to visit Arlington if you want to try a Super Chix chicken sandwich, chicken tenders or their creamy frozen custards. I certainly won’t be making a pilgrimage to Texas any time soon, but I will be hoping (not praying) that the test market is successful enough to warrant future expansions. Besides, those adorable cows have hogged the lime light long enough.

Poached Perfection

If you follow me on Instagram or on Twitter then you probably know I enjoy cooking. I love all kinds of foods but eggs hold a special place in my heart, most especially the poached egg. For years I’ve been on a quest to find the best / most foolproof method for poaching eggs and I’m pleased to report I think I’ve finally found it.

When it comes to cooking the perfect poached eggs, there are many factors that can lead to failure or at the very least, eggs that are not pretty or are a pain in the clean-up department. I’ve tried Gordon Ramsay’s method, America’s Test Kitchen’s, and most recently Heston Blumenthal’s recipe which I was convinced was the holy grail of poaching eggs. But then I came across an unassuming video from Life Hacker on ways to cook eggs in the microwave. Although the first two (scrambled and sunny-side up) resulted in less than spectacular results, the third for poaching works *perfectly*. And I do mean perfectly. The method is easy. Simply fill a small bowl 1/2 with water, crack the egg into it, cover with a saucer and microwave for at least 1 min. Cooking times vary greatly depending on the strength of your microwave but once you dial the proper setting in for your own equipment, you can produce one perfectly poached egg after another in very little time and with next to no clean-up. Just remember to use fresh water each time so the left-over, heated water doesn’t mess with your timing and over-cook your eggs.

Unlike dropping a raw egg into a pot of boiling water, there is no where for the egg white to go. Since the bowl is so small, the egg proteins can’t disperse. You don’t need vinegar or whisking the water into a vortex, or a pocket of cling film or even have to worry about bubbles on the bottom of the pan turning your creation into a real eggo waffle. If you love a good poached egg, have a microwave (who doesn’t?) and want to change your culinary life forever, give this method a go. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got second breakfast to make.

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Double Standards for Chopped All-Stars

SPOILER WARNING: This post contains mild spoilers for ep. 1 of the new season Food Network’s Chopped All-Stars. If you’re a stickler for spoilers, leave the kitchen now.

If you’re a fan of Food Network’s reality TV competition, Chopped, then you’re no doubt you’re relishing the new season of all-stars which started this past week. The show pits the biggest names of the network head to head in the Chopped kitchen to see who stands above the rest. The All-Stars edition is a great opportunity to see how talented chefs deal with the pressures of limited time and crazy mystery ingredients in a creative and professional manner. Or so one would think.

In the first episode of Chopped All-Stars, two of the competing Iron Chefs, Marc Forgione and Michael Symon each drank from a bottle of coconut rum they were given and then proceeded to pour the ingredient from the same bottle into their pots. As any fan of the show can tell you, whenever competing chefs commit a cooking no-no like this, they are always called out by the judges at the end of the round. Always. Judge Scott Conant is a stickler for cleanliness and has made many competitors feel 10 inches tall after having tasted from a spoon and then used the very same spoon to stir their creations. Mysteriously, during the all-star edition no one called out either Forgione or Symon for their un-professional behavior.

Another tidbit that’s just as telling is Iron Chef Cat Cora’s use of raw red onions in one of her dishes, an ingredient Conant is infamous for hating. His dislike of red onion is legendary on Chopped but for some reason he didn’t seem to mind Cora’s use of the onion at all. These details are nit-picky to be sure, but are important none-the-less. Speaking as a fan, it rubs my rhubarb to know the Food Network’s talent is put on a pedestal instead of the chopping block where they belong.

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Even Faster Food

Blame the ailing economy if you like, but in recent years businesses have become more and more willing to experiment in order to get a leg up on the competition. Seeking to capitalize on the increasingly tech-savvy public, the acclaimed burger chain Five Guys, has introduced a new iPhone and Android application that aims to make your dining experience quick and effortless.

Five Guys joins the ranks of restaurant chains like Chipolte Mexican Grill and Outback Steakhouse that let customers not only browse their menus but also place a to-go order right from their smart phones. I take food out from local Greensboro eateries a lot and I usually try to call ahead so I can get in and out as quickly as possible. The breakdown in efficency usually occurs at the time of payment and so I end up waiting in line to fork over my debit card while I hope and pray my food is even ready.

When ordering with Five Guys’ or Chipolte’s apps, you specify what time you want to pick up your food, pay for it via secure ordering and even save your favorite selections for future reference. I tried the Five Guys app today and it was a dream. I entered the store, went directly to the pickup counter and simply gave my name. The order was ready to go and I was enjoying my lunch all within minutes of walking in the door.

I can envision a time in the not-too-distant future when customers won’t even need to pull out a wallet when eating at their favorite restaurant. The advent of smart phone payment apps like Square and iOS 5’s geo-fencing technology have already started to revolutionize the way people shop, and soon dining experiences like the one I had today at Five Guys will be the rule, not the exception. Now if we could only design an app to get us through TSA lines as quick and “painlessly”.

[Dan Frakes and David Lanham contributed to this post]

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What’s Wrong with the Radish?

Something’s wrong with the humble radish. When I was a kid I remember these funny little root vegetables burning my face off from just a single bite, but lately I’ve found they have no more kick than a cramped kangaroo. Part of me suspects that the heat of the modern day radish has somehow been bred out of it for a wider appeal to mainstream American consumers. A quick check of Wikipedia reveals that there are no less than 10 common varieties of radishes. The Cherry Belle is the version most often purchased in North American grocery stores. From the taste and smell of them they must be some of the blandest radishes on the block.

I first became addicted to radishes when I was very young. My aunt grew them in her garden and would often give them to me and my cousins to chomp on along with freshly dug carrots. Aunt Lorraine’s radishes were strong enough to put hair on your chest and I loved them to death. I also remember the veggie from the Passover celebrations in my church. Part of the ritual involved eating “bitter herbs” and although radishes were probably not historically accurate, I distinctly remember eating slices of radish on pita bread while listening to Fiddler on the Roof. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why our Catholic parish ever celebrated a Jewish event, but I’m glad we did because that’s where I learned to love radishes.

These days radishes might as well be turnips or potatoes because they have about as much flavor. I’ve searched high and low for radishes with heat and not found any in years. The topic came up at lunch today with the guys from work and David suggested checking out the locally grown radishes of the Piedmont Triad Farmers Market. I’ll be heading there this weekend to do some research and hopefully return home with my hot-headed pearls. If all else fails, you can be sure I’ll be sending away for my own super-hot radish seeds next spring. By hook or by crook, the heat will be on!

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Wishful Dining

I’m going to apologize right up front to the scores of local folks who will read this post and complain that I’m poo-pooing the Triad’s dining scene. This post isn’t about the lack of dining quality in the Triad, it’s about the lack of establishments that meet the criteria to be on Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Several weeks ago, a producer from Triple D emailed local bloggers to ask for suggestions about places in the Triad that might be right for the show. Ed Cone put up a post to ask for input and many people chimed in. The trouble is, none of these people actually seem to watch the show.

If they did they’d know that there are very few, if any restaurants in the area that Guy Fieri should be visiting. That’s not to say the diners, drive-ins and dives in Greensboro, High Point and Winston aren’t good, many of them are. Take one of my favorite sandwich places, Jams Deli, which is just up the road from my office on Friendly Avenue. I love Jams very much and I and the guys at work enjoy eating there at least once a week for lunch. Yesterday I noticed a sign on Jam’s window asking for people to email Guy and suggest Jams to be on the show. As much as I love Jams, they too, seemingly have never watched Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. If they did they’d know Jams isn’t Triple D material.

The eateries that are featured on the Food Network show have at least three things that make them TV worthy. First, they make all their food from scratch. Last time I checked, Jam’s doesn’t make their french fries, hot chips, onion rings, buns or rolls from scratch. Second, they usually have waiting lines out the door at all times of day. The closest place Triple D has featured, The Penguin Drive-In in Charlotte, NC typically has a 20-45 minute wait to get a table any day of the week. Third, they serve interesting food. Over at Cone’s, Liv Jones suggested Johnson’s in Siler City for their yummie burgers. While I respect Liv’s opinion, Siler City isn’t the Triad, and Johnson’s burgers have nothing on burgers featured on Triple D. The places the producers are looking for have notable items no one else has. Like homemade fried pickle chips or a giant hot dog affectionately called “The Homewrecker”.

Same goes for almost all of the other places I saw suggested at Cone’s blog: Country BBQ (it’s good, but it’s also standard NC fair) Beef Burger (ate there 2 weeks ago, absolutely over rated, not all food made from scratch), Texas Tavern (in Virginia, not the Triad, no interesting food items). About the closest I think would meet the show’s criteria is Yum Yum. Because it’s a college hangout, it’s always busy and people rave about the place, but I don’t know if the food is made from scratch or what.

At this point I can sense you really are upset with me. Upset because I’m not begging the producers of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives to come to Greensboro and film their show. Trust me, I’ve watched every episode and no one would love for them to come here more than me. I would just love to be able to point them at a place like Henrietta NY’s Dibella’s Old Fashion Subs and say “This is the place you’ve been looking for!” But I can’t. If there was a place in the Triad that deserved to be on the show, I’d be eating there every single day. Of course there are plenty of places in Greensboro I’ve never been, so go watch a few Triple D clips and get a sense for the kind of food they showcase. If you still think you know a place that can measure up, suggest it in the comments. I would love nothing more than to be proven wrong, wrong, wrong on this one. In the meantime, I’m heading to Charlotte to check out Penguin. Who’s with me?

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Unpretentious World Cuisine at Greensboro’s Table 16

If you met me on the street it wouldn’t be difficult to deduce that I enjoy eating. My mother loves to say that I’m “big boned”, but the truth is I love food. I consider myself a fairly skilled cook and I find that as I grow older, my appreciation for well prepared meals has increased. So when I was invited to join a group of local bloggers to “tastecast” Table 16 here in Greensboro, I was only too eager to jump at the chance. I was not disappointed.

Located at 600 South Elm St. here in Greensboro, Table 16 offers up a fine dining experience unlike many others you have probably encountered. Chef Graham Heaton prides himself on crafting appetizers, entrees and deserts that are as varied in approach as they are filled with love. If you’ve never had the privilege of enjoying an 8 course menu the head chef has prepared especially for you, Table 16 is the place to start. Although only in his early 30’s, Heaton’s approach to the tasting menu he created combined thoughtful preparation and exceptional skill. This is the kind of dining you often see on television or read in very thick novels, but wouldn’t think to experience here in Greensboro. Now you can.

Our wonderful dinner began with a light vichyssoise served with yukon gold potatoes, georgia onion and crab salsa and progressed through items such as pan seared halibut with creamed corn & pernod to NY strip steak w/ tasso ham & fried green tomatoes. Each delightful dish that was brought to our table was proceeded by a special wine pairing that heightened each of the courses. I don’t drink myself, but judging from the reactions of my fellow diners, the wine choices were spot on each and every time.

Of all the dishes we enjoyed during our time at Table 16, my favorite had to be the second course. Ahi tuna and hot sausage poke (tartar) served on a wonton cracker with wasabi and fava bean pureé. This little heavenly delight had all the elements that make a dish great – varied textures and deep, rich flavors which were all cleverly combined in a way that, at first glance, seems simple. However, after just one bite you realize you’re in for something special. I gave the Chef several “thumbs ups” as he gazed from the kitchen to make sure we were enjoying our dinner. He smiled back and knew I was happy.

As incredible as the food was, the other great thing that struck me about Table 16 was how comfortable I was while we ate. It’s fair to say that five-star dining is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience for me and my wife. The cost, attire and locations one must endure to enjoy such an evening are usually prohibitive. While the expense of Table 16 is what you would expect to pay for such a wonderful and varied menu, the decor and atmosphere of the restaurant is just perfect for those usually intimidated by “fancy places”. It is true that the dining room offers a lovely view of Sound Elm and gives the hustle and bustle feeling of big city dining. This is offset by the warm and friendly staff who go out of their way to make you feel at home. From their friendly banter to the modest decor, Table 16 forgoes the usual stuffy nods to put all its attention into the food, where it belongs.

All too often I’ve wondered what it would be like to dine at a certain fine restaurant only to be turned back by the need to turn myself into someone I’m not. I don’t own fine suits, I don’t have all the money in the world and I certainly don’t need to be handled with kid gloves. While we ate, I saw other customers wearing much less formal attire than I (t-shirt & jeans) and having the meal of their lives. Thankfully the owners realize that customers come in all shapes, sizes and means and they are better for it.

Table 16 is a proverbial diamond in the rough. The menu is delectable and the kitchen is run by a Chef that obviously loves what he does and cares about his customers. The owners reached out to the local blogging community and generously offered to host our evening in the hopes that word could spread about this unassuming little eatery in the heart of downtown Greensboro. I thank both Table 16, as well as Scott Brewster, Adam Marney and all the other wonderful people I had the pleasure of meeting and dining with that evening. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Table 16 to anyone looking for a night of culinary discovery in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. Don’t miss it.

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To Thine Own Self Be True

SPOILER WARNING: This post contains spoilers for season 5 of Bravo TV’s Top Chef. If you’ve not watched the finale episode yet, then you should stop reading right now. I really mean it. Just stop.

Part of the problem, and allure, of reality television is that it doesn’t always go how you want it to. Take the conclusion of one of my favorite shows, Bravo’s Top Chef. Season five of the hit reality series about a group of wannabe Julia Childs seemed to be full of promise. There were a number of chefs that really knew their way around the kitchen and were worth rooting for.

They ranged from fan favorite Fabio, a suave Italian competing to be Europe’s first Top Chef, to my personal favorite, Carla Hall, the eclectic cook who put a heaping tablespoon of love in each of her dishes. Like many others, I didn’t like Carla at first. She seemed too flighty to be a serious competitor and didn’t win any of the Quick Fire Challenges early on. Then a strange thing happened. Carla decided to make dishes from her roots and cook food she was passionate about. She began to earn the respect of the judges, edged out Fabio for one of the 3 spots in the finale and seemed to be poised to take the title.

I was sure the competition in the final round would be between Carla and Stefan. The other finalist, Hosea Rosenberg never seemed to have his act together, a fact illustrated when he crossed the line flirting with another contestant, Leah Cohen. In addition, despite owning his own seafood restaurant, Hosea lost a critical seafood challenge. So when Hosea managed to best both Carla and Steffan for the ultimate title of season 5 Top Chef, I was upset.

I was upset with Carla not because she cooked poorly or made mistakes, but because she let herself be second-guessed by her assigned soux chef, Casey Thompson from season 3. Casey convinced Carla to cook her main entree using a technique she wasn’t familiar with, sous vide. The meat was rubbery and didn’t have the soulful feel the judges had come to expect from Carla. In addition Carla took another bit of advice from Casey and changed her desert course from a tart to a much more risky soufflé. Carla didn’t pay attention to the oven temperature and the soufflés were ultimately ruined.

By taking direction from the person who was assigned to her, Carla effectively gave the $100,000 prize to Hosea. To add insult to injury, Hosea managed to pull an upset against the man who has served as William Shatner’s personal chef, Stefan. If anyone of the three deserved to lose Top Chef, it was Hosea, and judging from the polling that night about who the audience thought would win (Carla 65%, Stefan 20%, Hosea 15%), the final results came as a shock.

Carla doesn’t blame Casey for her loss, and although I was upset with Casey at first, I’ve come to realize it wasn’t her fault. Carla was the one who didn’t listen to her inner chef and follow through with her plans. Like so many of us in our day to day lives, Carla let hesitation creep in and as a result, her once strong plans turned sour. If there’s a lesson I’m going to take away from my latest bout with reality TV, it’s simply this – stay true to yourself. That plus don’t take cooking advice from runner-ups. Here endeth the lesson, we still love ya’ Carla.

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New ‘Dinner’ Is Impossible To Swallow

Food Network’s Dinner: Impossible used to be one of my very favorite shows on television. The reality series about chef Robert Irvine tackling increasingly difficult culinary challenges with absurd time limits made for great drama. The show was a bright spot in a network lineup filled with Americanized knock-offs of genuine hits and talentless hacks who think big boobs and native pronunciations pass for cooking ability. Then, early in 2008 it was revealed that the show’s host, Irvine, had padded some of the more impressive parts of his culinary resume. This, combined with some bad business decisions by Irvine surrounding two new St. Petersburg, FL restaurants, led Food Network to can Irvine in favor of Michael Symon of Iron Chef America fame.

Viewers got a taste of the new Dinner: Impossible on July 20th, with a special advanced viewing of Symon as host. The results were not encouraging. Symon stumbled through his first challenge like a freshman CIA student, all the while annoying us with his goofy giggle. You might be tempted to chalk this unpleasant outing up to beginner’s nerves. But Symons deals with high pressure cooking situations every time he does battle in Iron Chef America’s Kitchen Stadium. No, it seems clear that Symons isn’t compelling or likable enough to shoulder Impossible without Alton Brown riding shotgun.

Even though Robert Irvine didn’t actually work on Princess Diana or Prince Charle’s wedding cake, it turns out he was perfectly skilled to host Dinner: Impossible. Irvine was a tough, but fair chef who brought out the best (and worst) in those he worked with. Whether he was cooking in -30 degree temperatures for the ice hotel episode or giving a set of his prized knives away to soux-chefs who inspired him, Robert Irvine made Impossible what it was. I don’t particularly care if Food Network didn’t bother to check his credentials before they hired him, I throughly enjoyed watching him cook under pressure. The suits that canned Irvine have proven once again that what viewers want, and what network executives want are two very different things.

The official start to season 5 of Dinner: Impossible with host Michael Symon starts August 20th, 2008. However, the show’s producers had better get Symon’s buns in gear or they may find viewers souring on DI, permanently. Personally, I think they should have given the gig to Guy Fieri. He turned in a fun and memorable performance as a guest chef on Dinner: Impossible last season and would strike the perfect balance between challenge completion and humor the show so desperately needs. Even an aging Emeril Lagasse would have been a better choice than Symons to helm the show. If I had to choose between Emeril’s “Bam!” and Symon’s silly cackle every week, “Bam!” wins hands down. I can’t believe I just wrote that.

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Restaurant Graveyard Additions

Back in March I wrote a post about some of my favorite local restaurants that, for one reason or another, have kicked the bucket. As much as we’d love for our favorite hangouts to thrive and flourish, unfortunately this isn’t always the case. A city is a living, breathing thing and businesses are born, live, and then eventually they sometimes die. If you live in a place long enough, you see it happen all to often and in today’s tight economic times, it seems to be happening more and more. Here is a short update of two places that I used to frequent that have gone to what I call, Greensboro’s Restaurant Graveyard.

Imperial Gourmet – Vanishing International Buffet

Until a week ago, Imperial Gourmet was located near the intersection of W. Wendover Ave and Stanley Road here in Greensboro. If you drive by on your way to Home Depot or Best Buy, today you’ll notice only an empty lot. Bulldozed to the ground, Imperial Gourmet was the only real option for chinese dim sum in Greensboro. Before it opened back around 1998, one had to travel as far away as China One in Durham for pork sticky buns and turnip cake. Sadly the food had been declining in recent years and the owners couldn’t decide if they wanted to offer Japanese Sushi, Chinese-American fusion or authentic dim sum, none done well. Despite having a prime location on one of the busiest roads in Greensboro, Imperial Gourmet exists only as a memory and now even China One is closed. The search or good dim sum in the Triad starts anew.

Giacomo’s Italian Market – Beware the Ghost of Simply Italian!

The intersection of Hilltop and Highpoint Road must be cursed. It previously claimed my favorite drive thru of all time, Simply Italian, and now it has murdered another local favorite, Giacomo’s Italian Market. While Giacomo’s isn’t a traditional sit-down restaurant, it did offer some of the best quality Italian food anywhere in Greensboro. I’ve written about the chain’s other location on New Garden Road and their wonderfully delicious sub sandwiches before. And while I had not visited the Highpoint Road Giacomo’s for several years, I have no doubt it was the location that finally did it in. Highpoint Road has been dying slowly for years as traffic and development shifted west to Wendover Ave, leaving several businesses in dire straights. Giacomo’s Italian Market was only the latest casualty in a long line of eateries that went up to dining heaven. Hopefully the New Garden location will survive for years to come.

Restaurant Death Watch Update

I’m pleased to report that my original picks for Restaurant Death Watch are still here and kicking. Of the three, I most frequently visit Mykonos Grill and I have to say every time I eat there the place is jumping. So much so that I think they could stand to move into a larger space, but then again I don’t want to upset the delicate balance that they have going so I’ll just squeeze in when I can.

Panizzo’s Cafe & Bakery

– This fun little cafe has some of the best lunch fare and baked goods anywhere in town. Unfortunately when I and the guys from work visit for lunch, the dining room is usually close to empty. I’m not sure what’s keeping the place from being successful, but if things keep going the way they are, I fear a new addition to the graveyard any time now. Keep your canolis crossed. UPDATE: Talos just learned that Panizzo’s is closing for “renovations” soon. Hopefully these are renovations of the temporary kind and not “permanent” if you know what I mean.

What about you? Have any favorite restaurants that bought the farm? Feel free to add yours in the comments below. Misery loves company!

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Playing In Hell

First there was Cooking Mama, and then my friend Dave Miller blogged about the upcoming Iron Chef game for the Nintendo Wii and DS. Now the genre comes to full circle thanks to the controversial but always entertaining Gordon Ramsay. His hit show Hell’s Kitchen, is being transformed into a digital arena where wannabe chefs can hone their culinary skills or face ultimate humiliation in the comfort of their own homes. According to the Hell’s Kitchen website, the game includes “Career Mode” and “Arcade Mode”, kitchen and dining room challenges and even includes recipes you can try at home! I fancy myself an amateur chef and I have to say the game seems to capture the manic feel of the TV show without all the hassle of actually becoming a reality TV contestant. If you’ve always wanted to feel Gordon’s wrath after ruining his famous risotto for the 10th time (as I have), then this is the game for you.

A video preview of the game includes a virtual Gordon complete with his famous potty mouth, digital Jean Philipe and much more. Although the release date has not been published, thankfully the HK site reports the game will be available for both the PC and Macintosh operating systems. From the looks of the screen shots and the illustrated nature of the settings, the graphics seems to be a cut above most games of this type. Hopefully game play will be interactive, fun and challenging enough to keep players chopping, sauteing, and plating for days. If you’re interested, there is a sign-up available that will keep you posted about the game and when we can expect it to hit shelves. In the meantime, sharpen your knives and harden your ego, because apparently virtual Gordon, like his namesake, takes no prisoners!

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Greensboro’s Restaurant Graveyard

If there is a truism about living in the Triad, it is this: people here love to eat out. More than any place I’ve lived, the residents of Greensboro enjoy dining out. A lot. Ask anyone who’s tried to get a table here after 6 pm and they’ll most likely tell you they had to wait. As the area’s population has exploded, so has the strain on Greensboro’s dining circuit. Yet despite all this, the place is littered with the corpses of eateries that for one reason or another, couldn’t take the heat. Some of these fine establishments were ahead of their time, others suffered from poor location, but a few died sudden and mysterious deaths. This post is dedicated to these wonderful joints, that for whatever reason, went the way of the dodo. Let us all join hands now and fondly remember:

Simply Italian – Doomed Italian Drive-thru

Simply Italian used to be located at the corner of Hilltop and Highpoint road near Adam’s Farm in Greensboro. It opened right after I moved to the area in 1994 and lasted less than a year, but what a year! The place was built around an old instant photo processing building and as such had no interior or exterior seating. You had to drive or walk up, order and take your food away. Simply Italian served some of the best Italian food I’ve ever eaten and offered huge quantities of classic Italian dishes for just pennies. You could order an entire 12″ lasagna for $7.00 and they’d even throw in garlic bread, utensils and more. The day Simply Italian closed was a sad one for me and my friends. A classic example of pricing yourself right out of business.

Hey Mon – Bermuda Triangle Swallows Caribbean Cafe

Formerly located at 2408 Spring Garden St. in Greensboro, Hey Mon was a jumping little joint that featured wonderful Caribbean flavors including spicy jerked chicken sandwiches, wraps and my all-time favorite – Caribbean cole slaw. When I worked at Image Technology, Hey Mon was one of our absolute favorite places to visit for lunch. The place was always packed and sometimes there was even a line out the door. One day at lunch, our group found the restaurant closed and a sign on the door saying they were moving. We were disappointed that we didn’t get our lunch, but excited that Hey Mon was moving into new, and possibly larger digs. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months and still no Hey Mon. To this day I have no idea what happened to this awesome eatery. It’s almost like it never existed.

Sushi Rock – Seppuku, Sushi Style

This wonderful sushi house used to be located on Battleground Avenue and was known for its reasonable prices and wonderful decor. When my friend Talos first introduced me to Sushi Rock, I knew I had found my new favorite sushi restaurant. It didn’t take long to realize however, that the place was in trouble. Crowds thinned and prices rose slightly and then one day it was just gone. Thankfully there’s no shortage of good sushi restaurants in the Triad. My current favorites are U.S. Sushi at the corner of Eastchester and Wendover in Highpoint and the always yummie Asahi on West Market St.

Pie Works – Death by a Thousand Cuts

I know what you’re thinking. Pie Works isn’t dead, at least not yet. Technically that may be true, but if you’ve lived here as long as I have then you may remember that there used to be many more Pie Works’ than the one (yes, there is only one left) on Lawndale Ave in Greensboro. Pie Works serves up some of the best gourmet pizza this side of New York and yet the franchise is faltering. I used to frequent the small Pie Works that lived down on West Market back in the day, but that location didn’t last long and is now a laundromat. There used to be a Pie Works in Winston Salem as well, but that too is gone. There are now a grand total of 3 Pie Works locations in Louisiana compared to one in North Carolina. Like it or not, I fully expect the Lawndale location to visit that big pizzeria in the sky in not-too-distant future. I think I’ll miss the Rosemary Roast most of all. My stomach is sad.

Bo Hogs – Another Pig Bites the Dust

When Bo Hogs opened a few years back at the corner of West Market St. and Muirs Chapel road, the last thing I thought Greensboro needed was another BBQ place. Marked by good service, a friendly atmosphere and excellent food, Bo Hogs quickly changed my mind and it became my favorite NC barbeque joint. That was their kiss of death. Although they seemed constantly busy, like many other eateries I’ve fallen in love with, one day they just closed. No explanation was given and no forwarding address was left on the door for a new location. I calling the developer to find out what happened, but only got a cryptic “The owner decided to close it down.” in response. Oh the horror! Today, my favorite Triad BBQ places are Prissy Polly’s of Kernersville, Carter Brothers BBQ in High Point and Country BBQ on Wendover Ave. in Greensboro. Pig places may come and go, but there will always be a hush-puppy in my heart for Bo Hogs.

Restaurant Death Watch

Finally, here are a list of places that as of this writing, seem to be alive and kicking, but that I’m keeping a close eye on. My track record indicates that at least one or more of these places may go belly up within the next 3 years for no other reason than I enjoy eating there.

Mykonos Grill

– The best Greek restaurant in Greensboro, hands down. Took up the mantle after Pita Works closed in Quaker Village. Place is always packed to the roof at lunch, which unfortunately means it’s probably doomed.

Leblon

– Brazilian steak house that hosts the Iconfactory’s annual Christmas party, or as we call it, “The Night of Meat“. Awesome food, great service. Seems underpriced for all-you-can-eat top notch cuts of meat. Danger Will Robinson!

Rearn Thai

– Their original location across the street on West Market was small but cozy and inviting. The new all-glass building is no bigger (maybe even smaller), but also cold feeling and loud. I’ve eaten there just once since they moved. This will be the one time when it’s not my fault when they go. Good food but their architect doomed them IMHO.

What about you? Have any favorite restaurants that bought the farm? Feel free to add yours in the comments below. Misery loves company!

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Let’s Talk Turkey

When I think of my brief, yet humble career as an amateur chef, I divide my life into two parts: BB and AB. That is to say my life ‘Before Brining’ and my life ‘After Brining’. What is brining? To put it quite simply, brining it is a cheap, and relatively easy technique to help ensure that your Thanksgiving turkey turns out as delicious and juicy as it possibly can. It is essentially a marinade that delivers both flavor to the meat and helps lock in juices when the turkey is exposed to the high temperatures of cooking. I first learned the tip from Alton Brown and his awesome cooking show, Good Eats and have been using it every year since without fail. No matter if you plan to roast, fry or spin your turkey on a giant rotisserie, brining your bird is the first step on the road to culinary fullfillment.

There are many ways to accomplish the brining, but I’ve stuck with Alton’s method and recipe. You’ve heard of the expression “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Yeah, well that applies here so I’m going to give you the low down on just how I go about working the turkey magic.

The easiest container I’ve found to brine in is one of those big 5 gallon paint buckets from Home Depot. Go pick up a brand new one, and then give it a good hand washing before you get ready to brine. For a 14-16 pound bird you’ll want to brine for a good 12-24 hours, so plan ahead. Rinse the turkey completely inside and out and remove any packets of giblets and the neck that may be hiding in the body cavity. I almost forgot to to this one year believe it or not, so it’s always best to double check.

Turkey Brine Recipie:

1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon iced water

Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stockpot, and bring it to a boil. Stir to dissolve all the solids and then remove from the heat. Cool the mixture to room temp. and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. The chilling part is important since you don’t want your turkey to go into a hot or even warm solution (can you say bacteria people?). Early on the day of cooking, (or better on the night before) combine the brine and ice water in your clean 5-gallon bucket. Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area like a basement or a garage. Turn the turkey over once half way through.

When it’s time to cook, remove the bird from the brine and rinse thoroughly. You may see that the color of the skin and meat has darkened slightly, that is a good thing. It just means that the brine did its work and the flavorings have penetrated into the turkey. A few minutes before roasting, heat your oven to 500 degrees. I use Alton’s method of filling the turkey’s cavity with fresh aromatics instead of bread stuffing. Stuffing dries out the meat and prolongs cooking time and I’ve found it’s best to avoid it.

Turkey Aromatics:

1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves sage

Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes. Place your bird on roasting rack inside a wide, low pan and pat dry with paper towels. Add steeped aromatics to the cavity along with rosemary and sage. Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil.

Roast on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F. for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer of foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing the temperature to 350 degrees F. Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 min. before carving.

Trust me when I say that you will never have un-brined turkey ever again. I’ve heard people say that frying your turkey is the only way to lock in juices and ensure your bird doesn’t get dried out. To those people I say “Ha!” you don’t know jack. A brined and roasted bird is just as flavorful and juicy as any fried turkey could ever hope to be. Give it a try, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

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Colicchio, Please Pack Your Knives and Go

It may seem to the casual reader that I have a bone to pick with cooking shows, but that’s just because they deserve it so much. I happen to think Bravo’s Top Chef is one of the best reality TV shows going, but even I’m having a hard time swallowing what head judge, Tom Colicchio, has been serving lately. This season, Colicchio’s behavior has gone from endearing to simply annoying. He’s been freaking the contestants out with his tendency to hover in the Top Chef kitchen while they are cooking. His criticisms of their food will go from “that was bad” one moment to “that was the single worst thing I’ve ever eaten” the next. He tends to think that no challenge is unfair, even ones that have little, if anything to do with a restaurant chef’s day to day job. And call me crazy, but any classically trained chef that doesn’t know how to properly hold a knife and fork, has no business telling others how to do their job.

There are large parts of Colicchio, and his participation on the show, that I enjoy. He apparently knows his stuff when it comes to cooking and is not afraid to be blunt with the contestants. If things are going south, he’ll let you know, and generally he’s pretty fair when it comes to who is performing and who is falling behind. His presence “grounds” the show from its inherent affected nature and lends credibility to its production. But at the same time, his level of patience has decreased while his need to critique has skyrocketed. The slightest flaw in the contestant’s cooking now has a tendency to set him off. On last week’s episode CJ’s brocoolini turned out to be the worst thing he’d ever eaten on the show. Never mind the fact that none of the chefs had ever used an oven on a commercial airliner before, or even prepared meals that had certain height requirements (yes, you read that right, height requirements). Colicchio seems to be becoming more and more jaded with each season, and I fear his likeability is suffering. It’s easy to sit in judgement on other people’s creations, and since I’ve never actually seen him cook, I don’t know if he’s just talking out his ass, or he has the truffles to back it up.

I’d like to suggest that Bravo inject a bit of humility into Top Chef by announcing a “Contestant’s Revenge” episode. I propose that for one episode, Colicchio, Padma, Gail and any other guest judges who have the courage, compete in their own mini challenge. They’ll get an impossibly small budget to work with, a miniscule amount of time in which to prepare and compete, and then be forced to serve their concoctions to the Top Chef contestants and a few snotty food critics thrown in for good measure. They say you don’t really know a chef until you’ve sauteed a mile in his pan. How about it Tom, can you take it as well as dish it out? I think we’d all like to see. In the meantime, I know a great place you can go and hone your table manners. I hear they have an opening.

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Smoked Donkey

Excuse me while I take a moment to rant about a pet peeve of mine… chefs who smoke. What’s with all the people in the culinary field who smoke? It is me or is every single person on a reality cooking show addicted to nicotine, turning their teeth yellow and deadening their palates? I’m not kidding here, can someone please answer this question for me because it’s all I see.

Last season’s Hell’s Kitchen was bad enough with Keith, Virginia, Garrett, Sarah and others chain smoking after every dinner service, but this season it seems like everyone smokes, everyone! And it isn’t just Hell’s Kitchen, but Top Chef and Next Food Network Star as well. I know that aspiring to be a world class chef is stressful, but these are smart people who should know better. How can anyone be serious about becoming a five-star chef when their palate is coated in carbon and their taste-buds are all but dead? How can they expect to cook a Michelin Star meal when they need to cut out in the middle of service for a “drag”; their fingers stained brown from puffing?

Needless to say I find the entire affair of smoking and eating, quite disgusting. Smokers choke the air of diners all around them, simply so they can “relax”. It’s selfish, unsanitary and rude. Unfortunately, living in Greensboro, NC makes this problem almost impossible to avoid since we’re in the tobacco belt. When my wife and I go out for sushi, we always try to arrive as early as possible to get in and out before the smokers arrive. I know that in Japan, cigarette smoke is part of the sushi experience, but that doesn’t make it right. Call me crazy, but the last thing I want to taste with my fresh salmon sashimi is Camel Joe’s butt. So when it comes to those who prepare food for a living, I would think a desire to properly taste your creations would override addiction. Evidently not.

So does anyone know why so many chefs smoke? Is one of the pre-requisite classes in culinary school, “Nicotine and You”? Do kitchen supply companies have secret kick back programs with the tobacco industry? Perhaps the scores of U.K. chefs kicking the habit can help shed some light on the subject. Inquiring minds (and stomachs) want to know.