Outlook Not So Good

Magic 8-Ball, I have some questions about Britney Spears. You know, that singer that used to be a cute little Mouseketeer and is now allergic to underwear. Did you see her latest episode where she was taken into medical custody for “being a danger” to herself and her kids?

You may rely on it.

Is this like that time she shaved off all her hair just to get attention?

Reply hazy, try again.

I mean, is she so screwed up that she’d risk losing visitation rights with her kids to help boost the sagging sales of her latest album in some kind of crazy stunt?

Better not tell you now.

Well, if she really is sick then isn’t Cedars-Sinai Medical Center run by a bunch of heartless monkeys who released her two days earlier than was originally planned?

Signs point to yes.

Can Dr. Phil’s 15 minute hospital visit really help the Britster get the broken pieces of her life back together?

Don’t count on it.

I mean by convincing her to go on his show, isn’t he just taking advantage of Britney and using her as his own personal publicity stunt?

It is decidedly so.

Okay, so if the hospital let her go early and Dr. Phil thinks of her as a meal ticket, who’s gonna get Spears the help she needs?

Ask again later.

Oh, come on! There has to be somebody that cares enough about her to stage an intervention or something, right? How about her bodyguard her lawyer or even her family?

My sources say no.

What about her mom? Will Lynne Spears really keep trying to sell books about her awesome parenting skills while she sits back and watches her daughter burst into flashbulb induced flames?

You may rely on it.


Just one more question then Magic 8-Ball. If things keep going the way they are, a year from now, will the paparazzi still have Britney Spears to kick around?

Outlook not so good.


  1. Now THAT’S funny. And sad.

    At first I was eager to dismiss Britney as an out-of-control starlet looking for fun. Now it makes me feel badly. She was a huge star in pop entertainment, now she’s a walking train wreck. What the heck happened to her?

  2. I think this sleazy manager Sam Lufti has caused all this. Total criminal nut job IMO. A control freaka dnI hope once she gets away from him and his pills she will get her sanity back,

    Unfortunately Britney is like a butterfly is to a light – attracted to the flashbulbs of media. If she can get rid of her media addicition she can surve – if not, I am afraid this is another Marilyn Monroe type situation.

    Britney is attracted to the wrong men and has poor skills at being repsonsible herself. How can she control anyone and anything around her if she can’t control herself.

    She clearly has sever issues to deal with – her life if an empty shell she is trying to fill by being in the media and buying stuff. Sorry Britney buying another puppy will not buy you happiness. I sure hope she is not going to get pregnant by this photog who is taking advantage of her delicate situation.

    I never cared for Britney when she was OK. But she is dreadfully unable to cope with life. ANd that breaks my heart. Her babies need their mom to get healthy.

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