gedblog

File this one under “It’s about frickin’ time!”. Ever since Quentin Tarantino released Kill Bill Volumes 1 & 2 in the theater, Mindy and I have been patiently awaiting the inevitable box set of the twin films on DVD. There were rumors that Tarantino would release both parts in their original, combined version, so we held out and didn’t buy the lame American single DVDs. Now it seems as if all of our waiting has paid off as word comes from Amazon of a new 4-disc set coming in November called Kill Bill - The Whole Bloody Affair. The set is listed on Amazon as NC-17 which means it has to have some new footage, perhaps the longer, full color version of the House of Blue Leaves scene that Japanese fans were fortunate to experience.

Kill Bill is one of my all-time favorite films and I’m glad to see Quentin finally getting this expanded set out the door, even if it means waiting a few more months. To help pass the time, here is a link to a classic clip of Zamfir (master of the pan flute), performing The Lonely Shepherd. Set it on loop for 5 months, and you’ll be set.

I love movies and movie quotes. Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that I tend to quote movies more often than I probably should. Fortunately many of them share my love for memorable dialog just as much as I do, so I put together a list of 10 of my all-time comedy favorites. If this goes over well, I’ll post an eventual follow up of other genres. It was tempting to use multiple quotes from a film, so I limited myself to just one per movie (very tough!). You can click each number to listen to a clip from its respective soundtrack.

I hope these bring a smile to your face and I invite you to post your own favorite movie quotes in the comments below. Enjoy!

Digg It!

• • •

“Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.”

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) - At the time, Ace Ventura was a break-out hit for Jim Carrey. Carrey’s comedic flair, rapid fire impressions, ad libs and facial contortions made him a perfect fit for the quirky pet detective. Ace’s visit to the ancestral home of Miami Dolphin kicker Ray Finkel, helps shed light on his homicidal tendencies thanks to this hilarious speech given by his mom played by Alice Drummond. Mrs. Finkel seems like a sweet old lady that could be anyone’s mother… a mom with a Marino death wish and a grudge the size of the entire state of Florida that is. “Laces OUT!”

• • •

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

The Princess Bride (1987) - If I had to pick a list of my top ten films, The Princess Bride would be on it. I fell in love with this strange movie the first time I saw it and have been quoting from it ever since. From Wesley’s “To the pain!” monologue, and the Grandfather’s “Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.” to everyone’s favorite line “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.” Princess Bride holds a special place in many fans’ hearts. The quote here is a perfect example of the tilted humor that made it an instant classic.

• • •

“They loved him up and turned him into a… horny toad!”

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) - The Coen Brothers have an uncanny knack for creating memorable characters, locations and dialog. No where was this more apparent than in the hit film O Brother, Where Art Thou?. Like his ancient Greek counterpart, Ulysses Everett McGill finds himself on an amazing journey in which he meets all manner of characters including an oracle, a cyclops and a set of seductive sirens. This quote is the punchline for the river scene where we learn that one of Everett’s traveling companions has been turned into a frog. Like many favorite quotes, the delivery is often what makes it great, and this clip at number 8 is a wonderful example.

• • •

“A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon’s your man… but humpin’ and pumpin’ is not Sheldon’s strong suit.”

When Harry Met Sally (1989) - So many lines, so little time! Often seen as the quintessential romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally offers up such classic quotes as “Baby fishmouth!”, “Men & women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” and “I’ll have what she’s having.” Harry and Sally’s priceless discussion of Sally’s sex life in act 1 leads to this gem about her “amazing sex” with Shell Gordon. Billy Crystal is at his comedic best and combined with Nora Ephron’s brilliant writing, we have a sound bite for the ages.

• • •

“You can’t have the duck! Do you think with a financial statement like this you can have the duck?”

L.A. Story (1991) - Often overlooked in the grand scheme of screen comedies is the diamond in the ruff that is L.A. Story. Part of it’s failure as a main stream hit stemmed from the fact that many of the jokes were predicated on the audience’s understanding of what it’s like to live, work and love in Los Angeles. Never-the-less, Steve Martin’s talent is undeniable and the film includes a wealth of memorable lines including this one from Patrick Stewart as the judgmental Maitre D’ of L’Idiot. Martin’s character Harris attempts to book a reservation at the trendy L.A. restaurant with hilarious results.

• • •

“Give him the seda-give!”

Young Frankenstein (1974) - The sci-fi geek in me debated posting a quote from Spaceballs in this spot, but Mel Brooks’ classic Young Frankenstein wins the spot instead. By far my favorite Brooks movie, Young Frankenstein has so many things going for it it surely must be counted as one of the best comedies of all time. Writing, acting, and art direction all come together in one big pile of funny to give us a side-splitting spoof of classic horror flicks. Picking just one line from Young Frankenstein is hard enough, but the charades scene wins the day with Gene Wilder’s “Put…the…candle…back!” coming a close second.

• • •

“We’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye!”

Christmas Vacation (1989) - National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation has become as much a holiday tradition in our home as the Grinch and A Christmas Story. Each year, Clark Griswold’s heartfelt attempt to throw the ultimate Christmas experience explodes just like his over-sized tree. Clark just wants what’s best for his family, but redneck relatives, 25,000 Italian twinkle lights and a jelly-of-the-month club subscription all conspire against him. Clark (played superbly by Chevy Chase) finally snaps, and the 4th place quote is the riotous result.

• • •

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!”

Ghostbusters (1984) - The undeniable commercial success of Ivan Reitman’s ‘84 monster, Ghostbusters, doesn’t detract from it’s comedic brilliance. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Rick Moranis all have screen gems in Ghostbusters as they get caught up in the haunting of New York. Candidates for 3rd place included “Listen! Do you smell something?”, “Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, ‘YES!’” and “Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.” The mayor office scene works on many levels including Murray’s sucker-punch line “Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”, but it’s the “dogs and cats” quote that perfectly sums up the humor that is Ghostbusters.

• • •

“But the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.”

Raising Arizona (1987) - As a movie buff, I’m a bit ashamed to say that I didn’t even know Raising Arizona existed until my wife introduced it to me only a few years ago. I knew after the first 10 minutes that it would become one of my all-time favorite movies, and so it has. The Coen brothers spin a farcical yarn about H.I. McDunnough and his wife Ed’s misplaced efforts to raise the kidnapped Natan Arizona Jr. as one of their own. The movie’s humor is sometimes subtle - “Not unless round is funny.” but for those paying attention, it’s pure gold. People either love or hate Raising Arizona, but for those of you in the former, Hi’s quote from Raising’s prologue always satisfies.

• • •

“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”

Airplane! (1980) - If the Coen brothers skillfully tickle your funny bone, then Jim Abrahams and David Zucker will whip it out and massage it. A comedy for the ages, Airplane! single handedly invented the spoof genre to the delight of movie goers everywhere. Filled with puns, one liners and laugh-a-minute silliness, Airplane! pokes zany fun at the disaster movies that where the hallmark of the 70’s. I doubt the kind of dialog that Peter Graves recites in this hilarious scene with Joey, played by Rossie Harris, would even be allowed in today’s comedies. Thank goodness Zuker and Abrahams had the sense to ignore studio execs at the time and make one of the funniest movies ever. We promise not to call either of them ‘Shirley’ either.

According to Starpulse, actress Natalie Portman is disappointed she was not invited to attend the 30th anniversary screening of Star Wars in Los Angeles earlier this month. Awww, poor baby.

I always find it amusing and a bit remarkable when stars are snubbed by the franchises that they have publicly derided and loathed. Just as a reminder, Natalie once said this of everybody’s favorite sci-fi franchise:

“It really wasn’t my thing. It still isn’t my thing, the whole science-fiction action thing,” Portman told the press. “I prefer simpler, character-based movies.”

Now, I’m all for bashing Star Wars every now and then, but when you are one of the saga’s major stars (the mother of Luke and Leia!) and you tell geek boys and girls everywhere that Star Wars really “isn’t my thing”, I think its pretty safe to say you’re gonna get a reception as cold as a dead tauntaun on Hoth.

Other notable actors that hate the franchises that made them stars include Jerri Ryan, Robert Beltran and Patrick Stewart. On the flip side, some stars know a good thing when they see it and hang on for dear life, as Johnathan Frakes has done with his multiple Trek successes. Gratitude is all in the eye of the beholder I guess.

On Saturday, PotatoStew and I went to see 300, a movie based on the graphic novel from comic artist Frank Miller and directed by Zack Snyder. The film stylistically depicts the legendary Battle of Thermopylae that took place in 480 BC on the Greek Peloponnesus between a small army led by King Leonidas of Sparta and the massive forces of the Persian Empire commanded by Xerxes I. If you’re not up on Greek history or want to know more about the film’s plot, there are several summaries available.

I went into the film with next to no knowledge of the story, its background or history. All I knew was that it was supposed to be violent and based on a comic book by Frank Miller. Miller is perhaps best known for his work on graphic novels such as Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Sin City.

The film is visually stunning for its illustrative treatment of the characters, settings and costumes, but also for its graphical depiction of violence and blood lust. This is indeed a violent movie, but its treatment on the screen gives it a surreal quality that somehow makes it more palatable. Blood splatters, limbs are chopped and quite a few heads go flying, but it all seems somehow frozen in the panels of a comic book. Besides, cinematic violence can be beautiful when done purposefully and artfully (think Helms’ Deep on steroids) as it is in 300. There is a scene after the Persian’s initial failed attacks when Xerxes tries to bribe Leoniadas (played admirably by Gerard Butler) with Greece itself. All this and more can be his, if he’ll simply kneel before the god-king. We know Leonidas’ reply even before it comes. The audience seems to stand with the Spartans as he tells Xerxes that he will not kneel and that Xerxes’ blood will be spilled for even daring to set foot on Greek soil.

This being said, 300 isn’t for everyone. Some may think the character work is flat and that the 100% blue-screen generated environments diminish the ability of the actors to interact with each other in a meaningful way. To some extent this may be true, but 300 isn’t trying to something it’s not. Its trying to be a movie based on an incredibly visual and violent graphic novel. A popcorn movie of the highest order, and in that way, and many others, it succeeds brilliantly. Go see it.