Voice of Reason

If there is one person in government who continues to surprise and impress me, it would have to be Colin Powell. In addition to his commendable service as National Security Adviser (1987-1989) and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (1989–1993), he was the first African American to serve as the United States Secretary of State. During his tenure with George W. Bush, he often was the lone voice of reason in the administration. On several occasions he attempted to temper Bush and Cheney’s call for rash and dangerous action in regards to foreign relations and how this country deals with its enemies. He initially resisted the idea of a military invasion of Iraq, instead favoring the proven policy of sanctions and was a chief advocate of working with the U.N. to diplomatically solve the Hussein problem.

Unfortunately, history will most likely remember him for the case he made at the U.N. on February 5th, 2003 to garner support for the coming U.S. invasion. Built on mountains of false and manipulated intelligence, Powell now says about his speech: “It will always be a part of my record. It was painful. It’s painful now.” Personally, I still have a sour spot for his participation in Bush’s drum beat to war, but in hindsight I cannot place blame. I’m sure he thought he was acting in the best interests of the country and in his position, he was doing what the President asked him to do.

Free of his Bush ties since November of 2004, Powell has only increased his role as a voice of reason in the political landscape. He often presents viewpoints that run counter to the conservative thought process and has consistently argued from a position of common sense and logic. He did so again today with an appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press where he discussed the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, saying:

“If it was up to me, I would close Guantanamo — not tomorrow, this afternoon. We have shaken the belief that the world had in America’s justice system by keeping a place like Guantanamo open… We don’t need it, and it’s causing us far more damage than any good we get for it.”

Why will no one in this current administration listen to him and others like him? If the United States is so sure of the guilt of those held at Guantanamo, then why are we afraid to prosecute them accordingly? Give them access to due process, determine their guilt (or innocence), and let the country regain the moral high ground regarding its treatment of prisoners. The death of Habeus Corpus was one of the lowest moments in our country’s history. There are now calls to reverse this un-American position, and as far as I’m concerned they cannot come soon enough.

Some progressives would never, ever, vote for a “Republican”. I am proud to say that if Colin Powell ran for office, I would gladly vote for him. His actions and words since leaving Bush behind help to restore my faith in government. Many on the left would do well to get past his U.N. speech and see him for what he has become. This country needs public servants able to see the big picture if we are to rescue America’s standing in the world. We need more people of reason. People like Colin Powell.

Lame Duck

I’ve come to a tipping point. I really, really want to use the awesome instant messenger app for Mac OS X called Adium. After the program graduated from it’s extensive “beta” phase months ago, I figured I would finally give it a try and see what all the hub-bub was about. After only a few hours I was hooked. Adium is a well-rounded collection of code that serves as an admirable replacement for the likes of AIM, Yahoo Messenger and my beloved iChat. Lately however, I’ve been thinking the duck would be better off served with a nice orange sauce instead of sitting in my Dock. What is the fowl source of my angst you ask? What could get my blood pressure high enough to ditch the customized GUI and invisible chat status heaven that is Adium? Two simple words – file transfers.

At the Iconfactory, I converse with developers, friends and co-workers around the globe each and every day. A huge part of what I do involves sending and receiving files to far off, exotic places like Stockholm, Vienna and Laguna Beach (it’s in the OC!). So when my instant messenger refuses to send a file for the 10th time, or when the Chief Typist says to me “Did you get that file?” and I have to tell him “No! Damn Adium!” I start to get upset.

The most depressing part is that I want to use Adium. I love the visual control the application brings to the desktop. Its creators have thoughfully given the user control over just about every aspect of how Adium looks, sounds or behaves. Adium’s use of CSS to create custom message window or buddy list appearances has earned it a cult following. I’ve even taken a stab at creating my own list themes build around Frenzic’s look and feel. So I take no joy in saying the software’s inability to quickly and reliably send and receive even the smallest of files is turning into a major deal breaker for me.

I can live without audio chat. I can live without video chat (a blessing, trust me). But I can’t live without file transfers. This bug has plagued Adium since day one, even though the devs have reportedly “fixed” or “improved” file transfers several times. I’m here to say that it has never worked reliably for me. Not once. Ever. So I’m on my knees asking the powers that be to take another hard look at the FT problem and see what can be done. I’d be happy to offer console logs, install a beta version or even name my first kid “Duckie” if it helped. Okay, I lied about that last one, but you get the idea.

If I can’t send files via Adium soon, I’m afraid I’m going to leash up the dogs, grab my decoys and go hunting with my old buddy iChat. Needless to say he’s been feeling pretty smug lately, what with me popping in to send PNGs and DMGs all the time. Hopefully a (near) future version of Adium will help me wipe that silly smiley off his face once and for all. Only time will tell.

UPDATE: So many people have requested my Adium theme that I’ve gone and saved it out here for you to download. I’ve not checked this over to make sure its 100% correct, so don’t blame me if something ends up missing. Have fun!

Aaron’s Personal Hell

SPOILERS AHEAD: If you have not watched the season premiere of Hell’s Kitchen on Fox yet, then you might not want to read this post. There is still time though, turn away now. Last warning, okay we’re moving on…

Hell’s Kitchen is off to a bang with tonight’s premiere episode and one thing seems pretty clear already – Aaron has about as much staying power as a head of wilted lettuce. When I watched the commercials for this season of Fox’s reality cook-off and saw this man openly weeping in Gordon’s kitchen, I thought at least it was because of something stupid he had done. BUT NO! Aaron turned on the water works even before a single starter was served up to the hungry hordes of L.A.’s most pretentious diners. If he can’t keep it together before the shitake hits the pan, what hope does he have when things go really pear shaped? Something tells me that this seemingly too kind-hearted cook won’t last beyond episode 2.

And while we’re at it, I’m mighty happy with the decision to kick Tiffany. Anyone who refuses to put a short order cook in charge of frying up some damn eggs doesn’t deserve to helm their own luxury restaurant. Just because someone works at a Waffle House doesn’t mean they can’t cook, so I say don’t let the door hit ya on the way out girlfriend! Buh bye!

This season looks like its going to be drama packed, fun and even somewhat lethal! Seems like someone’s going up in flames… literally. As we wait to see who gets the extinguishers thrown at them, I’m glad my earlier analysis of the contestants picked for HK is holding water. This season’s bunch seems as inept, talentless and combative as any we’ve ever seen. Finally, a weekly TV show to sink our teeth into again. The heat is on!!

Speaking of Movies…

I love movies and movie quotes. Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that I tend to quote movies more often than I probably should. Fortunately many of them share my love for memorable dialog just as much as I do, so I put together a list of 10 of my all-time comedy favorites. If this goes over well, I’ll post an eventual follow up of other genres. It was tempting to use multiple quotes from a film, so I limited myself to just one per movie (very tough!). You can click each number to listen to a clip from its respective soundtrack.

I hope these bring a smile to your face and I invite you to post your own favorite movie quotes in the comments below. Enjoy!

• • •

“Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.”

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) – At the time, Ace Ventura was a break-out hit for Jim Carrey. Carrey’s comedic flair, rapid fire impressions, ad libs and facial contortions made him a perfect fit for the quirky pet detective. Ace’s visit to the ancestral home of Miami Dolphin kicker Ray Finkel, helps shed light on his homicidal tendencies thanks to this hilarious speech given by his mom played by Alice Drummond. Mrs. Finkel seems like a sweet old lady that could be anyone’s mother… a mom with a Marino death wish and a grudge the size of the entire state of Florida that is. “Laces OUT!”

• • •

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

The Princess Bride (1987) – If I had to pick a list of my top ten films, The Princess Bride would be on it. I fell in love with this strange movie the first time I saw it and have been quoting from it ever since. From Wesley’s “To the pain!” monologue, and the Grandfather’s “Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.” to everyone’s favorite line “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.” Princess Bride holds a special place in many fans’ hearts. The quote here is a perfect example of the tilted humor that made it an instant classic.

• • •

“They loved him up and turned him into a… horny toad!”

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) – The Coen Brothers have an uncanny knack for creating memorable characters, locations and dialog. No where was this more apparent than in the hit film O Brother, Where Art Thou?. Like his ancient Greek counterpart, Ulysses Everett McGill finds himself on an amazing journey in which he meets all manner of characters including an oracle, a cyclops and a set of seductive sirens. This quote is the punchline for the river scene where we learn that one of Everett’s traveling companions has been turned into a frog. Like many favorite quotes, the delivery is often what makes it great, and this clip at number 8 is a wonderful example.

• • •

“A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon’s your man… but humpin’ and pumpin’ is not Sheldon’s strong suit.”

When Harry Met Sally (1989) – So many lines, so little time! Often seen as the quintessential romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally offers up such classic quotes as “Baby fishmouth!”, “Men & women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” and “I’ll have what she’s having.” Harry and Sally’s priceless discussion of Sally’s sex life in act 1 leads to this gem about her “amazing sex” with Shell Gordon. Billy Crystal is at his comedic best and combined with Nora Ephron’s brilliant writing, we have a sound bite for the ages.

• • •

“You can’t have the duck! Do you think with a financial statement like this you can have the duck?”

L.A. Story (1991) – Often overlooked in the grand scheme of screen comedies is the diamond in the ruff that is L.A. Story. Part of it’s failure as a main stream hit stemmed from the fact that many of the jokes were predicated on the audience’s understanding of what it’s like to live, work and love in Los Angeles. Never-the-less, Steve Martin’s talent is undeniable and the film includes a wealth of memorable lines including this one from Patrick Stewart as the judgmental Maitre D’ of L’Idiot. Martin’s character Harris attempts to book a reservation at the trendy L.A. restaurant with hilarious results.

• • •

“Give him the seda-give!”

Young Frankenstein (1974) – The sci-fi geek in me debated posting a quote from Spaceballs in this spot, but Mel Brooks’ classic Young Frankenstein wins the spot instead. By far my favorite Brooks movie, Young Frankenstein has so many things going for it it surely must be counted as one of the best comedies of all time. Writing, acting, and art direction all come together in one big pile of funny to give us a side-splitting spoof of classic horror flicks. Picking just one line from Young Frankenstein is hard enough, but the charades scene wins the day with Gene Wilder’s “Put…the…candle…back!” coming a close second.

• • •

“We’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye!”

Christmas Vacation (1989)National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation has become as much a holiday tradition in our home as the Grinch and A Christmas Story. Each year, Clark Griswold’s heartfelt attempt to throw the ultimate Christmas experience explodes just like his over-sized tree. Clark just wants what’s best for his family, but redneck relatives, 25,000 Italian twinkle lights and a jelly-of-the-month club subscription all conspire against him. Clark (played superbly by Chevy Chase) finally snaps, and the 4th place quote is the riotous result.

• • •

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!”

Ghostbusters (1984) – The undeniable commercial success of Ivan Reitman’s ’84 monster, Ghostbusters, doesn’t detract from it’s comedic brilliance. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Rick Moranis all have screen gems in Ghostbusters as they get caught up in the haunting of New York. Candidates for 3rd place included “Listen! Do you smell something?”, “Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, ‘YES!’” and “Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.” The mayor office scene works on many levels including Murray’s sucker-punch line “Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”, but it’s the “dogs and cats” quote that perfectly sums up the humor that is Ghostbusters.

• • •

“But the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.”

Raising Arizona (1987) – As a movie buff, I’m a bit ashamed to say that I didn’t even know Raising Arizona existed until my wife introduced it to me only a few years ago. I knew after the first 10 minutes that it would become one of my all-time favorite movies, and so it has. The Coen brothers spin a farcical yarn about H.I. McDunnough and his wife Ed’s misplaced efforts to raise the kidnapped Natan Arizona Jr. as one of their own. The movie’s humor is sometimes subtle – “Not unless round is funny.” but for those paying attention, it’s pure gold. People either love or hate Raising Arizona, but for those of you in the former, Hi’s quote from Raising’s prologue always satisfies.

• • •

“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”

Airplane! (1980) – If the Coen brothers skillfully tickle your funny bone, then Jim Abrahams and David Zucker will whip it out and massage it. A comedy for the ages, Airplane! single handedly invented the spoof genre to the delight of movie goers everywhere. Filled with puns, one liners and laugh-a-minute silliness, Airplane! pokes zany fun at the disaster movies that where the hallmark of the 70′s. I doubt the kind of dialog that Peter Graves recites in this hilarious scene with Joey, played by Rossie Harris, would even be allowed in today’s comedies. Thank goodness Zuker and Abrahams had the sense to ignore studio execs at the time and make one of the funniest movies ever. We promise not to call either of them ‘Shirley’ either.